QUINTESSENCE: Quintessence is the most important part of anything. It can also mean the pure essence of a substance. The word comes from quinta essentia, which means fifth essence. The
Greeks had four basic elements: water, air, earth and fire. Pythagoreans then added a fifth element to that, called nether. After that people started considering the fifth element, or fifth essence, the most important one.
Over the past 3 years I have had many Journeys. Some would choose to call them paths or realizations.
When I was first provided some guidance to write again, it was with much hesitation, the fear of being judged. I was offered a helping hand and then left on my own to create what I felt, and so I did.
Judgments and negative comments came and went but so did the positives and positive out-weighs negative any day of the week. Dramas played out and I slowly could not take any more of it and backed away from all. Over time I had just about given up. For a friend, I tried to get a weekly collaboration adventure going. It took off well and by the third installment I was feeling great. Alas it too fell through the cracks. So I took a 9 week vacation over the summer and set out on a self discovery journey. I pumped out 65 pieces of various writing which helped me heal a lot, inner hurt and emotions were put to rest.
During this time a dear young friend went through an awful tragedy and tried to commit suicide. I told no one. just simply was there for that person and helped pull them through and get stronger once again and eventually it led me here, to this.
I’ve come to the realization that I write in my style and most often do not follow the general rules of writing and that’s okay with me. Much like a singer sings to make them happy, I write to keep myself grounded, because I have to; not because I want publication or fame and not because I want popularity. Some will say I write with emotion a lot of the time, to them I say so whats your point, is it hurting you? If I bring someone strength or laughter or just a sheer will to go on or write something themselves, that is the greatest feeling in the world.
For those who want to chirp behind my back? go ahead, I can’t hear you so it really doesn’t affect me at all. You’ll grow tired of it eventually or the ears you are chirping in will grow tired of you. Either way I’m all aces inside. Restructuring my marriage and strengthening that bond of love is powerful and ever lasting and no one will ever come between that. You see I am strong-willed and determined to fix things worth fixing. There was a time I may have thought running away to something different would have solved my problems but I now have had enough time to sort through it all and have reached a higher plain. I do not drink nor do I do drugs and won’t ever again. I can face problems head on and have the strength to endure what comes.
Due to many changes and misfortunes I stepped aside and Retired True Angel of Grue several months back. I was encouraged to start my own site or page and that to run it as I see fit and I would be fully supported. I have done this.
on-wards and upwards
I have used a few different names in the process of rediscovering myself; True Grue Angel, True TOK Angel and True Angel. Now it has just been Crimson Quintessence for the past year and it will remain that way.
Each name represented a stage of my emotional and perhaps mental state of being for various reasons, none of which I am going to get into at the moment as I do not consider it necessary to delve into each nook and cranny. I will tell you that everything happens for a reason and that we cross paths with many people over our life spans. In mine, some have provided strength, encouragement and support; while others held out hands, pulled me in, had me believe in one thing and showed me something completely different as time went on. Which is what led me to this point today.
I know one thing for sure I am a Strong Woman and have overcome many obstacles in my life. Bumps in the road will come and go. Those are the times I will slow down and go ahead with caution. My trust in people has become very guarded once again but it has also made me more aware of what’s out there.
My trust and love are no longer freely given, they must be earned and returned in equal measure.
I am Crimson Quintessence
I stand before all, a creation of my own measure.
The pure 5th element of my rediscovery.
My final destination or transformation.
Here I stay, jaded or shaded by no one.
A warrior of Truth Always.