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Quintessential Truths

Quintessential Truth #35 – Self Esteem


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Self-Esteem:  confidence in one’s own worth or abilities – self-respect.  (pride – dignity – self-regard)

There are several steps to improving low self-esteem.  We all feel a little down and insecure sometimes.  The reasons we feel this way will differ from one person to the next.  but always remember, you can get yourself out of those feelings by trying the following:

  1. Positive self-talk
  2. don’t compare yourself to others
  3. Exercise..even just 10-15 minutes a day
  4. Don’t strive for perfection
  5. Don’t beat yourself up when you make a mistake.
  6. Focus on the things you can change…Let go of what you can’t
  7. Do thinks that you enjoy
  8. Celebrate small accomplishments

How can you be confident?

  • take control
  • groom yourself
  • dress nicely
  • think positive
  • get to know yourself
  • act positive

We all must learn to determine our own values and skills.

Learn to write out what your vision is for each day.  Then act upon it.

Create your accountability.

Put your negative thoughts aside.

There will be setbacks sometimes but learn to expect there could be and plan your next steps.

People with low self-esteem look at the world as victims.  This causes them to hold back, become withdrawn and non-assertive.  By doing these things they will certainly miss out on many opportunities and experience that will enhance their lives.  They begin to feel powerless and their self-esteem becomes lower and lower.  Now they are caught in their dark place.  This is where it becomes important for them to know about the tools to help themselves find a way out of that dark place.

I recommend writing out your strengths and achievements.  Friends are a great help and support system here.  keep your list close and with your affirmations, read them each day.

Learn to think positively about yourself and use all your affirmation words.

**Take action. Get it done. … **Face your fear. “The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear.” … **Understand in what order things happen. … **Prepare. … **Realize that failure or being wrong will not kill you. … **Get to know who you are and what you want out of life.

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This has been your 36th Quintessential Truth.

until next time…

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Quintessential Truth #34 – Affirmations


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Over the past few weeks, I was in a Coaching Series class called “Life Management” coordinated by two wonderful ladies I will name for this purpose in sharing, Sunray, and Shine.  Together with our 2 facilitators, we were the “18” class.

Though sometimes loud and rowdy we managed to form a very positive, likable and caring group.

During one of our lessons, we learned about ‘ Affirmations ‘  :  the action or process of affirming something or being affirmed

:  emotional support or encouragement

Through this I learned common words that came up to me from the people I received them from:

  • generous
  • outgoing
  • understanding
  • helpful
  • kind
  • warm
  • gentle
  • organized
  • loving
  • nurturing
  • insightful
  • conscientious
  • self-confident
  • inspiring
  • nice
  • sociable
  • realistic
  • motivate others
  • smart
  • friendly
  • resourceful
  • keep order
  • likeable
  • bring light to the group
  • when you’re away or staying silent it doesn’t go unnoticed
  • trusting
  • a great listener
  • sweet soul
  • loving personality
  • ambition

These are words I’ve heard many times in my 48 years of life and I’m just now starting to have great value in them.  Especially when learning to use affirmations in my daily gratitude journal and to give affirmations to others when they are feeling down about themselves or their situations.

These words of emotional support and encouragement can keep someone pointed in the right direction and keep them positive and thinking about positive things instead of the negatives.

With support like this, we learn how to leave the negative feelings behind and move forward with everything we consider positive and emotionally gratifying.

We learn to say “Today, I choose me” and not feel bad about it at all.

“I love my body and all it does for me”

“My inner world creates my outer world”

“I am comfortable with myself”

“I am comfortable being alone or with people”

“I have the power to accept change”

“I also have the power to make change”

positive affirmations are a powerful way of liberating ourselves and others and sending positive vibes out into the universe.  They can be life-saving, energize you, ground you, motivate you and inspire you and others.

If you start each day off by saying out loud or writing down one or two positive affirmations for yourself, you set the right mood for your day.  This will help you build your confidence in yourself.

This has been your 34th Quintessential Truth.

Until next time…… Spirits up!

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Quintessential Truth #33 – Me, Myself and I


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This piece is a pile of randomness that I found while combing through one of my composition books and I figured why not, you either read it or you don’t.  But I’m pretty sure others have been here before and will know exactly where I am coming from, jumbled though it may be.

One is seldom articulate when ones emotions get the best of them so I will echo this thought to start it off…

“Yes, we can, yes, we do”

This is my bloody transcript of a portion of life, so here we go… Random thoughts from July 2016.. **Read to the end there is a life lesson in here**

It’s 12:20 pm Let’s get started… I’ve been sitting here, in my car, in the heat for some forty minutes telling myself it’s time to write again.  Yet, I haven’t the faintest idea of what to write.  It’s been a minute, hasn’t it?

This one phrase, four words, stood out at me today in something I read when I first wiped the sand-dust out of my eyes.  “Me, Myself and I” Yup!, that’s the phrase.  It got me thinking how often the curveballs of life are thrown in our general direction.  Are we in the batter’s box or are we perched in the catcher’s position just ready to use our glove and snag whatever pitch is thrown?  I’d like to think we are all in the batter’s box.  “Hey batter, batter, swing”.

Some days we wake up full of spit, spunk and vinegar.  Some days, we wake and think we are going to conquer the world.  And, some days, well some of those days crush everything and we just can’t seem to find one single positive thought that will help us rise from our beds.

As human beings, we complain and quite often too.  It doesn’t seem to matter how well things are, we will inevitably find something to complain about.  Like today for example, “It’s too damn hot” but yet, we should take a second and look around, the sun is shining, the sky is a beautiful blue, birds are singing, Oh, I see an ambulance coming down the road, but it doesn’t mean death awaits anyone.  There is a gentle breeze making the leaves on the tree I’m parked in front of dance.  It’s actually nice to see.  There’s an empty soccer field in front of me and two sea gulls have decided it’s a good place to rest.  Now, I’ve stopped for a few to have a cigarette and a think, I’m not sure where I was going with this.  Hmm, I’ll get right back with you shortly.  It’s 12:40 pm.

Okay, back again.  So the title of this piece is Me, Myself and I … right?  Pardon me a moment someone’s just parked beside me and is naturally on her cell phone bitching to someone about “I don’t know why I have to do this, blah, blah, blah…”  You know, the bloody parking lot is mostly empty and she just had to come all the way over here and park, right in my quiet spot.  Oh, I guess I should explain where I am currently.  So, my youngest daughter has a summer school class, she needed one credit to graduate high school.  Today is her orientation day.  The class will be conducted online for the remainder.  Today we had to drive to Ajax for the orientation, it’s only for an hour, she’ll be out in ten minutes and we can head back home.  Rather than go for a drive to kill time and waste gas I brought a composition book and figured I’d write while waiting for her.  It’s awkward writing on a steering wheel you know.  So any hoots, back to it……

Me, a 48-year-old unemployed mother of three.  Back in February of 2016, the 24th to be exact, I had to quit my job due to illness.  It’s now been 4 months.  I’m about to lose my child support on august 1st because my youngest turns 18.  It’s funny how fathers can just write off a child for becoming of age.

Well that was a long bloody pause, my daughter came back to the car ten minutes early and I had to drive home, that was two days ago and now I’m finally typing this up on my word press and that is exactly 6 months and one day from the day I started to write this, but I felt it was relevant enough to share and here we are.  You see, by the time I got back home I’d forgotten what my point was.  So here I am two days later with a bit of a different perspective on whatever it was I had originally set out to do.  Not the norm for me when writing, but it happened none the less.  Today ( July 7th, 2016) I just realized something…

There are times we all feel sorry for ourselves.  Yup! that’s right folks, we do it.  Most will not admit it freely but it’s a known fact.  Think about it, how many times have you stood in front of the mirror and criticized your own body just because you were feeling blah?  I know I’ve done it, more times than I care to count.  Flapping the chicken wings, tracing the wrinkles, and when that special K pinch was way more than an inch, oh boy!

So, what can we do when things go wrong and we feel sorry for ourselves?  Well, for starters, we can focus on what’s right in our lives instead of what’s wrong.  For the past few weeks, I’ve felt less than par and I’ve felt sorry for myself.  Life has just been a little off for me since Becoming unemployed.  Prior to that, I had a daily routine.  Now, I am feeling kind of lost, like my purpose for getting up in the morning is gone.  We all have those days where nothing we do seems right and our over sensitivity kicks in and everything we say comes out wrong and everything others say just irritates us to the point we want to crawl out of our skin.

You caught me, I nodded off, got busy with other things and poof! It’s now August 6th, 2016 and one of the longest pauses I’ve ever taken while writing something.  It’s not really like me not to write something all the way through to completion.  I think I’ve only done that once before.  But, lately, I have found I’ve lost my groove a little and just haven’t really felt much like writing.  You see, I can not force myself to write.  I must be in the right head-space to write otherwise I produce pieces not worth sharing and that is unproductive for me.

Apart from exhaustive job searching, applications and rejection after rejection I have a never-ending pile of laundry that seems to multiply after each trip I take downstairs and dishes that continuously pile up in my sink because my family are just to damn lazy to load or unload the dishwasher.  I know I’m not the only one who deals with this.

I’ve recently joined Netflix and I am totally addicted because I can binge watch a variety of television shows by seasons.  Thus far I am waiting for Season 5 of Orange if the New Black, Season 3 of Scream, The new Season of Wentworth, Pretty Little Liars, even though I just found out it’s running currently on Bravo but I missed the first few episodes.  I also started watching Strange Things.  Then there are movies galore so naturally, I hit the horror section first and just started watching one after the other until I get tired enough to fall asleep.

Next Saturday  (September 2016) they are holding a job fair at the newly renovated mall and my youngest daughter and I will be attending first thing in the morning.  There are 700 job positions available so I am hoping for the best.  At this point, I just need some kind of a paycheck to make ends meet.  You see, 3 out of 4 of us in our family found ourselves unemployed at the same time which is very rare.  So, we were at a loss of 3 out of 4 incomes (the 4th is not employable at this time) which is a huge blow and sets you back horribly.  It was not only that I was jobless, I  also lost my child support in August (2016) and lost rental subsidy which had cut my rent in half.  When the harsh times hit the worst we fell two months behind in rent and came close to eviction and becoming homeless, we just escaped that by the skin of our teeth.  I then found myself selling off my precious items and furniture to make sure we had money for rent, food and our electricity and hot water covered.  I had to dip into my gold jewelry, my rather extensive movie collection, some of my electronics, old video game systems, and old cell phones, basically anything we had that was sellable, to make ends meet but it helped us get through another month.  Life is a struggle but we’re going to find a way to make it work some how.  Winter will be coming soon and I don’t plan on living in my car.

Life has handed us lemons this year (2016) but we are trying to find ways to make the lemonade that will keep us all together safe and fed, warm and healthy.  We haven’t given up yet.  One more gained back employment right at the end of 2016 and that gives us 1/4 so that will cover groceries each week once again and if the job fair goes well hopefully 2 more of us will find jobs and things will get even better.

**Though other things transpired before the end of the year writing them all down would be endless drivel, so I won’t but know that though we are still on the unemployment line we have  income support and a ton of workshops etc that have helped keep us in our home and warm and fed.  Onward and upward for 2017.**

Luck, you’re coming our way! We’ve been waiting for you.

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Quintessential Truth #32 – Just A Four-Letter Word


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Just because I follow you on Twitter doesn’t mean I Love You!

Love and respect are earned traits.

Love, a simple four letter word, and, for the most part these days that’s all it appears to be.

love – look it’s a frisbee

love – mutual respect

love – kinship

love – two people can share this common bond.

Where’s the love

Show the love

share the love

and on and on…….

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We’ve often questioned the very word.  One word that has a thousand reasons.

We’ve given up trying to figure it out.  It’s becoming such a hollow word lately.  Most people don’t often use the full term ” I Love you” anymore, I know I don’t.  Instead, we’ve turned it into different variations such as ” love you” or  “much love” basically out of respect, to me it means respect “much love and respect”.

I once had someone use it to get inside my head and my heart, only so they could manipulate me to do everything for them and lose myself in the process.  Well, no more damn it, I’m over that shit as I will be willing to bet many of you are that have lived through this.  We’re in a new mode now, will do what we want, when we want and if we don’t feel like doing anything here and there, so be it.  We’re not going to apologize anymore, so take your little snickers and laughs and shove them right up the outgoing mail server, yep, that’s right, We just said that.

We’ve come to discover that sometimes people just come to expect things like it’s owed to them.  When someone takes plain advantage of you, they are the ones who have to live with the fallout when you finally walk away.  One thing an eye-opening experience will bring you is the realization that as far as your own personality goes, your inner voice will tell you, no-one created you, you are in debt to no-one for saving your life, or pulling you from your darkness.  You did that on your own.  People can aid you through your darkness but it is your on will that pulls you out.  You are in control of your own destiny and no-one else.

Learn to accept yourself and others will too.

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Quintessential Truth #31 – Making Lemonade


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They don’t call this the Quintessential Truth for nothing.

When you ask the universe to give you answers it will in ways you never thought possible.

I’m about to go deep and let you know how I and my family escaped eviction and refurnished our living-room and dining room and bought groceries in the short span of three days after selling everything we had to get bills paid.

Many of you who know me,know that I have dealt with one disaster after another since February of this year.

I had become violently ill while on the job, had to quit that full-time job to recover, which took me three months.  Then spent the next three months searching for a new job, and I still am.  But I’m very hopeful.  I became very ill again six weeks or so ago with a massive infection from an abscessed tooth, though I am still recovering I am getting better every day.  I then lost my only income which was child support and the Ontario Child Tax Benefit for my youngest child who turned eighteen on August 10th. That was a $1,200.00 a month loss of income instantly so that left me penniless. My oldest daughter then lost her babysitting job which was paying for our monthly food bill and my youngest daughter lost her job which was helping us also.  There we were, facing eviction and losing everything we owned.  The rent and monthly bills were due for the month of September, which we are currently in.  I did something I never do, I relied on the promise of help from someone else to help with my rent which would keep the roof over our heads for another month and keep us from eviction, well that fell through leaving me just 3 weeks to figure it all out.  Panic set into all of us until five days ago when I discovered I could sell all our furniture for cash, pay our bills, rent and get food as well as refurnish our living-room and dining room from everything we had sold to make ends meet, replacing it all for next to nothing.  I learned to do this all on Friday night.  Today is Tuesday and things aren’t perfect but they are okay. We’re going to survive and tell you how you can do the same if ever you find yourself in this type of situation. It is my duty to do so and I feel it only right for I have been given a universal answer to the question “How are we going to get through this”.

My youngest daughter introduced me to an app on my phone where you post your items for sale, people come and pay you cash for them and pick them up.  In just three short days we saved ourselves. We sold our furniture and books, clothing, collector plates, artwork, cds, basically anything and everything we could think of.  Even stuffed animals, old video game systems and games and shoes etc.

We managed to make enough to cover what we needed and then buy food from the same app and got a free chair, a coffee table set, a genuine leather couch and love seat, a dining room set and two accent chairs to go with it thrown in for free.

The breakdown is like this:

The Chair – FREE

The 3 pc coffee and end table set – $30.00

The genuine Leather Sofa and Love Seat – $100.00 bartered down from $140.00

The Dining room set which consists of a table and 4 chairs – $45.00

2 accent chairs – FREE

A rolling Laptop desk – $20.00

TOTAL COST FOR THE REPLACEMENT FURNITURE $ 195.00

TOTAL OF ALL ITEMS SOLD $1500.00

There were other items that I had that I flipped to get the items above therefore never actually being out of pocket for anything I got.

When you flip something you pick it up for little or no money, clean it, fix it, fix it up and sell it for a cash profit.

The only financial help I had was two weeks prior from a dear friend who got me started with some cash for two weeks worth of food.  And that friend will get repaid as soon as I am in a working situation.

Today I got a call with a possible job opportunity, it may work out, it may not, I’ll let you all know real soon.  But I am hopeful, I refuse to give up when life gives you lemons find your best way to make as much lemonade as possible. I won’t let the down times of life defeat me.  I will keep fighting to survive.

It is possible to make it through with the help of a few friends and a little creative ingenuity and thinking, you can make it if you don’t give up and you try.

If you have to sell everything and start from scratch to keep the roof over your head and food on your table then that is what you do.  It’s just stuff, you can let it go and start over.  We did it.  I and my family are living proof and we haven’t given up yet.

I’ll never give up fighting for survival.

This has been your Quintessential Life Altering Survival Tip of Truth.

Until next time….

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Quintessential Truth #30 – Escaping Emotional Vampires


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One thing I learned very quickly in life was to get it out, let it go and trudge forward.  Therefore I have done just that.  Certain things just don’t matter to me any more.  I could leave a vent or rant out there for everyone to see forever, but why bother.  I let it out, rid my body of the stress and the healing began instantly.  So, rather than make it disappear entirely I have merely moved it to a new spot and it remains should anyone need it, I certainly don’t.

When you chose to disassociate yourself from a being that has sucked the life out of you it is the most liberating thing you can ever do for yourself.  Getting yourself away from toxic beings saves you from so much stress and anxiety.  Especially when they are known to be emotional vampires to others.  We all learn things at our own paces and for some of us it just takes a little longer to sort through the rubbish and remove the film from our eyes to see the absolute truth.  A dozen neon signs can point out an issue but unless we really pay full attention we aren’t going to see those signs.

To be fully emotionally free you can not remain naive about things that are right in front of you.  Stick to those who are positive and mood elevating and far away from those who suck optimism and serenity right out of you. The super-malignant ones can make you believe you are an unworthy, unlovable disease who doesn’t deserve any better than being lied to and mistreated. The subtler species inflict damage by making smaller digs which can make you feel small and incredibly bad about yourself.  They love to call you overly sensitive, that’s a good one.

Protect your sensitivity, it’s important to name and combat these emotional vampires.  There are four main types are you aware of them?  Let me show you……

Emotional Vampire #1: The Narcissist

Their Motto – “Me First” – You know their kind – Everything is all about them.  They possess a grandiose sense of self-importance and entitlement, hog attention, and crave admiration from everywhere and you need to be very careful here because with these ones  if you don’t do things their way, they become punishing, withholding, or cold and they will pull disappearing acts when they can’t have it their way.  They are the types who begin things with love bombing you and everyone else ( You know the type:  I only wish to spread love blah blah, blah).  Then eventually would bleed or suck you dry of your positive energy or your self-worth, hence the name emotional vampire.   They are emotionally limited people in the flesh and they will look for something in you that will benefit them in any way possible. They tend to get people to falsely agree with them just to get some short-term satisfaction about a matter or manage to force an apology out of you that they really don’t deserve.  They always lie about a story or embellish it for their own purposes or are always in a superficial type of interaction with someone and tell you let’s not go public with things as I fear there may be some sort of fall-out or hurt feelings.  They want continuous ego stroking, they need it to survive.  They want to be told how brilliant they are, how loved they are, how everything is so much better when they are around.  These are the worst to encounter but it is possible to escape them. Narcissists will typically involve doing anything to put them at a better light to get the attention they crave.   The old look at me syndrome.

For your own protection against The Narcissist here is what you need to do:

  1.  Keep your expectations realistic.
  2.  Never make your own self-worth dependent on them
  3.  Never confide your deepest feelings to someone who won’t cherish them, they will actually squash them and use them to their own advantage

Emotional Vampire #2: The Victim

These ones are on at you on a regular basis with the oh  “poor-me’ attitude and are allergic to taking responsibility for their actions. The world is always against them and almost always the reason for their unhappiness.   They are great when you offer any type of solution or help but usually respond  with “Yes, but.” You may end up purposely avoiding them when you see them come online. As a friend, you may want to help but their tales of woe overwhelm you and suck your brain cells dry.  The Victim will tire you out rather quickly.

Protection from “The VIctim”:

  1.  Set kind but firm limits.
  2. Listen briefly and respond, “ I can only listen for a few minutes.
  3. With a coworker, listen briefly, sympathize then say, I hope you understand, but I’m on deadline and must go back to work.
  4. You may want to use “this isn’t a good time” routine as well.

Emotional Vampire #3: The Controller

These one’s will obsessively try to control you and dictate what you’re supposed to be and feel. They have an opinion about everything. They often start sentences with “You know what you need?” and then proceed to tell you. You end up feeling dominated, demeaned, or put down.

Protection from “The Controller”:

  1.  Never try to control a controller.
  2. Be healthily assertive, but don’t tell them what to do.
  3. Say something like, “I value your advice but really need to work through this myself.”
  4. Be confident but don’t play the victim or sweat the small stuff.

Emotional Vampire #4: The Splitter or Borderline Personality

Now,  the splitters or borderline personality vampires see things as either good or bad and have love/hate relationships. One minute they idealize you and you are everything to them and  the next you’re the enemy if you upset them. They are rather crafty at knowing how to pit people against each another and will retaliate in a sly manner if they feel you have wronged them. These people  are fundamentally damaged—inwardly they feel as if they don’t exist and become alive when they get angry. They like to  keep all of you on an emotional rollercoaster with their stories and you may find yourself walking on eggshells or using kit-gloves to avoid hurting their feelings.

Protection from “The splitter or borderline personality vampire”:

  1. Remain calm and don’t react when your buttons get pushed.  (I had to learn this one the hard way because they feed off your upset)
  2. Create structure and limit setting.  Basically walk away until they calm down and let them know that.
  3. Refuse to take sides when he or she tries to turn you against someone else.  It’s best to show a united front and not let a splitter’s venomous opinions poison your relationships.  (Another lesson I had to learn the hard way after the loss of some very good friendships, which, by the way, I am in the process of mending now thanks to their willingness to forgive)

Emotional vampires, attention whores, leeches, drama kings and queens, entitled prince or princess, egomaniacs, megalomaniacs, authoritarian dicks, love-deluded-hopeless-romantic-fanatics are often other ways to label a narcissist, but they are part of a cluster of personality disorders that tend to overlap. But, once we educate ourselves on who and what to be on the look out for we can become so much wiser and we can then take that knowledge and educate others so that they do not fall victim to someone like this.

When it comes to the negative creeps like this that are keeping you from achieving your goals, garlic probably won’t do the trick.  Time to stand up and speak out.  Put them in their place.

Don’t let an emotional vampire into your life and if there is one in your life now, get rid of them quick before they such the life right out of you.

This has been your Quintessential Truth…….until next time.

Remain Strong!

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2016.

 

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Writer’s Wilderness – A Quintessential Truth #27


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Have you ever tried to convince someone in your life that writing frees you and been met with skepticism?

You’re not alone.  Most writers have faced this at one point.  The important thing is not to give up and to find ways to have them on your side for support.

It’s difficult when a writer faces their own doubts but when family members cause doubt your passion to write dwindles and you start to wonder that maybe you’re just not cut out to be a writer.

The crucial support you need can sometimes feel like it’s hard to find.  Family members can sometimes crush your spirit by reminding you that a reliable and steady paying job is more important or bring up past failures.  Your new direction scares them.Writers face skepticism and doubt, it’s just part of a writer’s wilderness.  You need to hit it head on or you won’t survive it.  It is tenacity, focus and determination that will get you through it.  Press forward, get stronger and commit yourself to it.

When your family or those closest to you are not supportive you must press on to reach your own personal goal with your writing.  Don’t let others hold you back.  Remember when you volunteer to much information it can invite interference in what you are trying to achieve. So, when a family member inquires just provide them with a short general description.

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Many people still hold down full-time jobs and write in their spare time as a hobby or self-therapy, there’s no harm in that. Protect your personal space and keep a positive outlook on what you are doing.

Someone wise once told me to choose my confidants wisely and it’s true.  It’s important for you to know who you can go to, to ask for help or to bounce an idea or two off and not be ridiculed or have any of your ideas stolen from you.  These trusted people will give you straight responses but will also give you an uplifted feeling at the same time. Like-minded souls are the best to surround yourself with.  These souls are the ones you share everything with confidently, especially any fear or failure you think you are having.

I was also reminded at one point to prepare myself for some negativity.  Mainly because writing provokes discussion. Things can get tough sometimes but if you’re prepared for it,it won’t come as such a shock when it happens.  And, it will at some point.

Give yourself a goal and work towards it little bits at a time.  Start off small, a little poetry,an essay or a short story.  If you’re afraid of the reactions of family try not telling them you wrote it at first and just say read this and tell me what you think as a testing ground. They’re more honest when they don’t know it’s you right away.  Personally I was met with positive results.

If your family is completely unsupportive find a community or a group with similar interests to your own.  Make sure it’s members are spurring each other on.  If all works well you may become friends with some of these people for many years,even a life-time. Never be afraid to leave or move on from groups you feel are not the fit you were looking for.  You may move through many groups before you find the right one.  I had a friend come to me once who had been absolutely crushed as the writing group she had chosen wanted her to completely change her story and style of writing to suit their needs and not allow her to be a free bird and write as she felt she should.  This appalled me, it is one thing to become part of a group to want to change or better your writing but to be personally attacked by a member who thinks they run things out of their own audacity and crush the soul of another is just plain wrong in my eyes.  Being supportive and letting one flourish is the most important thing there is.

Always remember what connections you’ve made are best for you to move forward and grow.  It’s okay to let go of the rest.  Especially if you’ve found yourself surrounded with negativity and drama, it can crush a creative mind.  Negativity can ruin your mood for days.  You owe yourself to avoid things that could trigger mood swings and stall your creative side.

When ever you are not feeling enough love and support from those around you, try to create a routine that will benefit your physical and emotional well-being and keep you in a good mind-set.  Tip:  music helps.

Learn to embrace some emptiness. Things are always changing around us but in those darker times you can learn to reach deep inside yourself and create something you once thought impossible.  Sometimes, during darker helping another provides a fulfillment you find appealing and opens up your creative mind to a whole new plain.

You can become successful at writing when you remove your own restrictions and you can do it despite any lack of support from your family.  You must choose to believe you can do it.  Believe it is possible.  For every family member who feels negative when you decide to step up your writing game there are dozens out there waiting to read your next piece.

Don’t be afraid to write personally.  Be intimate with your readers.  This is how they got to know you and they don’t expect you to be perfect.  We’re all flawed in some way and it’s okay.

Write honestly and authentically.  Be yourself. Eventually your family does come around and accept that writing is a part of you. And, if they don’t, believe me when I tell you, you will survive.

So write, write, write.

Write it all out of yourself.

Even when you think you’ve hit a dry spell or lost your muse, it’s still there, inside you.

Until next time……….

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Copy Right Protected
by the Crimson Vaults
2016.

**Click on any Image to redirect to the images webpage/designer where it has been provided.
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Quintessential Truth #26 – Beyond the Veil


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Awaken, that which was once thought dead.

Full of ridges and valleys, like a spent bullet.

Yet, awaiting discovery, like an ancient buried treasure.

Full of wonder, yet mysterious,

delicate yet firm.

Stripped down and not quite bare.

Unlimited, thoughts turned into dreams.

Patterns scattered like twisted streams.

A beautiful dream,

another world,

in all, a very simple girl.

A bird without wings,

a song with no voice,

yet, she flies while carrying a tune.

The weight of the world resting on her shoulders.

Beyond the invisible veil, invisible to the world, she was drowning.

Yet, not a soul saw her struggle to pull herself out of the quicksand.

head down and wandering past all.

She drifted,

why does she feel so alone?

Isolated and lacking,

disconnected, yet people are all around.

Alone, yet in the presence of others.

7-Cups of how it works and a dishwasher filled with mugs.

The introverted and depressed are facing their own bloody war.  It doesn’t matter what side your on.  The merry-go-round still keeps turning, round and round.  

Rejected and overlooked, thoughts of self-worth cause the wreckage.  Our worst enemy is being in the company of ourselves sometimes.  The isolated space, a perfect breeding ground for self-critical thoughts.  An internalized enemy the inner-critic.

Behind the invisible veil a raging war of survival goes on.  Fight the internal voice of the enemy.

Tolerate it not.

Refuse it entry, you are not awkward or creepy.

Challenge yourself, don’t give up.

Sure, there will always be uncomfortable situations that will lead to uneasy feelings.

When you challenge your inner voices, you become stronger and when persistent enough in countering those self-critical attacks the veil lifts, melancholy dissipates, and you then live free.

Free from self-sabotage, and free from isolation.  Society can breed a lot of loneliness but confidence can set you free.  One of the best actions we can take to stop the feelings of hopelessness is to think outside of our internal voice.  Believe in ourselves.  Know that we do have something to offer the world and remind ourselves that we are not alone at any given moment in time, not really.

And, please remember; Bite, chew, swallow and repeat has no place here.

This was a short Quintessential Truth for today.

Until next time…… 

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by the Crimson Vaults
2016.

**Click on any Image to redirect to the images webpage/designer where it has been provided.
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Quintessential Truth #25 – Hark or Deduce


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New Order – Blue Monday >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Bul0dJVfFQ

I’ve always fancied myself to be a good listener but it doesn’t always mean that what I’m listening to is easy to hear.  At times we all have heard some simple truths we’ve not looked forward to hearing.

Why?

We like to live in a short stay of denial here and there.  having someone point out the obvious can feel like a gut-punch sometimes especially when said denials are held up in neon signs when we are comfy sitting in our dark little cubby-holes in the cover of our solitary confines.

Oh, we’ll continue to try to deny things or fluff up our rooster-chests and try to brush it off.  Mostly because we won’t always admit to our down times, our feeling lost times or our oops, I did it again times.  It’s hard to admit to some things, especially to our friends, those closest to us and ourselves.  I still haven’t sussed out why.  Sometimes it’s because of guilt, embarrassment or denial and other times its’ because we don’t want to be judged by another or because talking about said times makes it a little bit to real.

From early ages we become good at creating alternate realities to help take us away from stressful situations and as we grow older we become great at dodging the cold hard facts of our own situation of dread by curtailing them into matter-of-fact quick skate-byes and do-overs.

There are some who can talk through the entirety of their situations and there are others who play dodge ball with what is transpiring.  By playing dodge ball I mean when we point out the “I know you to well to buy the act you’re putting on right now” to be something else, our friends/family jump up and say “Nah-ah, you’re wrong, I’m fine, really” move on us.   We see right through it and we call bullshit.

First:     They came to you with a problem and you said how can I help, what do you need from me?

Right?

Second:     The script flipped and in a micro-second they’re all “No, I’m fine, really”  They try to explain that they just had a momentary lapse of self-control you mistook for weakness and suddenly their fetal-position was temporary.  But the cry already became unleashed and now more than just you became aware.

The main point is at least they reached this time.  Times before saw them suffer alone and it only took longer to come back from it.  You see, they were looking for confirmation they were missed and that they mattered to more than just one person.  To some, numbers matter a little too much.  It’s a compulsion they can’t seem to part from.  Point that out and eventually they will admit it, some-what gracefully, with a little giggle.  Especially if you tug on their hair tight enough.  They will yell okay, you win, I admit it.  They feed from continuous praise and hand shakes.  they need the pat on the back to keep them going and for them that’s okay and we oblige continuously to keep the beast from chewing them up and digesting them altogether for this is what we do.

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I had a friend say to me once that they found it strange how being on social media can make one feel more alienated and that one sometimes has to find a way to get perspective back.  Some of us have come to learn ow to grab the lifeline and not slacken that grip.  This helps us gain back our smile, you know the one that we left on the left side of anguish.  We do this and we wind up finding our balance again.

Instead of feeling the despondent vibe, we collectively feel wanted and appreciated.  We get back on track so to speak.  At least until the next road block, we can find a way to travel and avoid all potholes so not to ruin the drive-shaft in our travels.  It takes a village to move the footpath up the right side of the mountain and when one realizes they don’t have to weather the storm on their own, that it’s okay to break sometimes, they also realize that it’s okay to let the wound bleed a little first before applying the antiseptic and bandage to enhance the healing.

Being about one thing is fine for some but being about many things is a better way to give adventure and self-discovery not only for you but for many others.  Curling up into your own little cocoon is fine for a moment.  At least until the dust-storm settles.  but when the rain comes be ready to break out of it and dance through that storm.  It’s only temporary and it will pass.  The winds of change swirl around us constantly and we’d better ourselves to learn how to manuever through them than to lay down in the ditch and pray for it to stop.

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There will be those who feed of the misery of another.  I call these festering nats the rowdy scavengers of misery as they will feed like a tick on that pain and grab the salt to rub into the wounds, then sit in the corner snickering at the downtrodden’s screams of agony.  Whispering in their little scavenger troop about watching another one fall by the way-side and spit their venom to any and all willing participants.  These rowdy scavengers are dirt on your shoulder, brush them off with one quick sweep.  Their cotton-mouths grow foul and fester a poisonous gas that eventually dissipates as others run away from it.  There’ll be no tailgate parties for this lot.

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The bent ears brigade, now these folk, they are good folk.  You can bend their ears six ways from Sunday and they will always stay constants in your life.  They are seasoned with life events and have become one with change.  They won’t hold anything back either.  They will tell it like it is.  There’s no sugar-coating things with this lot.  They air out their surroundings often and don’t try to hide things with 400 air fresheners from the local gas station.  They’ve seen more of their share of fast-balls thrown in their general direction and they’ve travelled twelve thousand miles into the middle of nowhere to meet the colour of their own entrails only to wash them in mother nature’s natural springs and reincert them back into their original body cavity comfortably.  They will sit on the edge of sanity with you and play roshambull until the next sunrise just to make sure you get it all out of your system.  This is dedication in it’s best form.  These are the folks you tuck into your pocket for your travels.  They remind you that you matter.  They are your daily dose of reality and your true support system.

So when you have on our goloshes and you are knee-deep at the river’s edge, cast your rod and see what nature puts on your hook, reel it in and you decide whether it’s a keeper or if it needs the catch and release method applied to it.  Remember on this farm of life, you are the farmer, plant your seeds and watch them grow and please, check on the barn often because the cows aren’t going to milk themselves, now, are they?

Take pride in who you are.  The fault in our stars is only visible to one who holds the magic telescope to our inner soul and with that magic comes a galaxy beyond anything we ever would’ve imagined.

This has been your 25th Quintessential Truth.

Until next time…….

Whimsical Heart Art

Whimsical Heart Art

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Copy Right Protected
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2016.

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Quintessential Truth #25 – Is Anyone Out There?


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My friend, Carl, used to be a girth of presence in the world, but lately he has withered from existence, wondering, is anyone out there, does anyone care?

Once so full of hope and life that he danced upon rooftops and sang in the rain.  Current times have found him questioning his very existence and caused him to turn in on himself.  Now, curled up in the fetal-position, he cries himself to sleep at night and he’s forgotten why he stepped out into the public eye in the first place.  You see, he’s lost himself, deep inside his own mind.  Where he once thrived, full of love and positivity, he’s found himself doubting his own ability to bring joy to others.

Self discovery is a painful journey at times and yet we are continuously evolving.  We all need to remember one thing, we don’t need mass approval to be someone who is accomplished.  When the dark horse rides, we only ever need to reach but one single soul to matter.   You’ve all heard the term “if you build it, they will come” right?

If you fully believe in yourself others will, in turn, believe in you.  We may all become lost sometimes but there are always a small few that are constants and will pull us out of our darkness and guide us toward the light so that we may thrive once again.  If we allow ourselves to become consumed in the darkness, we lose a piece of ourselves we may never get back.

Carl reached for me today, asking that I not give up on him.  Knowing that deep down, I never would.  This was his cry for help and reassurance that he is not one of the lost.  I reminded him that he just stopped believing in himself for a minute.  If you believe, others will believe.  You’re not lost, you need to dig deep and pour out your heart before you start to heal.  Guilt consumes all.  You start feeling sorry for yourself and you start making assumptions about things that just aren’t there.

Some worry about this numbers thing, how popular one is by the amount of people who give you a shout out or share your stuff.  But it’s not about that, who cares how many hits you got on your site or how many shares there were.  If you are proud of your work then it matters.  Stop, take a moment, remember why you got into this to begin with.  You had a passion inside you that you needed to share.  Not because you wanted popularity.  That just came over time, but it’s not the be-all of your existence.  Keep moving forward. Keep creating.  Keep taking chances.  Don’t search for popularity in numbers; instead, search for quality in what you deliver.  Popularity isn’t everything, it’s a mere reason in a sea of factors.  Touch just one soul, you may be saving a life.  You may have already saved a life.  Don’t become lost somewhere in the innocence of who you really are.  Don’t think about where you could have gone wrong.  You are the soul in charge of your own destiny.  You matter!

The right people care when you need them to.  They are in it with you through the thick and the thin.  They will be your rock when you are mush and will stretch out a hand for you to hold onto.  They will be your oxygen when the weight of the world is weighing heavy on your chest.  Breathe life into your lungs when you feel breathless.

Is anyone out there?

Do you hear me?

Do you feel me?

I’m right there, beside you, holding your hand, telling you it’s going to be all right.  It’s just a bump in the road, a cry in the night.  We all get lost sometimes.  Just remember we aren’t a broken record on repeat, there’s a B-side you have forgotten about.  We’re a long way from perfect, the road is far to long and it was built with bumps, potholes and curves.  We don’t know exactly where it will take us but we travel it non-the-less.  We’ll be what we want to be.  We’ll be the change we want to see.  But we won’t change until we try.  It’s never to late and we’re never too far gone.

It’s a road-trip and we’re all on the bus……

Until next time this has been your Quintessential Truth.

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**Click on any Image to redirect to the images webpage/designer where it has been provided.
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Reality Bites – A Quintessential Truth #24


Reality Bites.... by CaptureAYE

Reality Bites…. by CaptureAYE

FACT:

When we lay down the truth to someone nine times out of ten they will become offended and defensive at the same time.

Face it, some people just can’t handle the truth, nor do they want to hear it.

Why?

The answer is simple, if they have to face the ugly truth they also have to accept some blame in a situation of life as well as face-the-fact that others have been hurt by the life choices they’ve made.  And, you all well know that these situations come around when someone has made some incredibly bad choices in their lives and now it’s time to find their way back to reality and face the piper as it were.

Survival of the fittest right?

So, if that’s the case then the strong must support the weak, just a fact.  But at the same time, if the weak have purposefully put themselves in a path of destruction and despair some realities need to be brought out front and confronted head on.  Otherwise they will never see the errors of their ways.

I’ve pointed out a few things in previous installments.  One of them being that some souls can be some-what self-centered, meaning, everything has to be about them and what they want and on their terms.  But the reality is there are those of us out there that were put in their path to help stop their self-destruction by pointing out the obvious and sometimes we have to be the bad guys when it comes to pointing things out.  Case in point, during one of these types of conversations person one may let person two know how imperfect their own life is and that person two is not the only one facing life’s difficulties.  Here-in lies the issue of the selfish and self-centered, they WILL immediately take offense if you happen to point out to someone that they are being a, are you ready for it, a “DRAMA QUEEN”, (and for all intense purposes our definition of drama queen here is someone who is over-the-top, all boo-hoo me, feel sorry for me, omg life is horrible what will I ever do, kind of person but they will tell you and everyone else that they loathe drama of any kind.  REALLY???!!! Well Fuck-sake!  Big Surprise……Not!) and forget what person one said to them about their own life-traumas in a millisecond.  You see, the “drama queen” type will always redirect the conversation back to themselves, it is an absolute fact people, this ain’t no joke.

It’s all because:

  1.     They don’t know how to deal with the situation.
  2.     If the focus is not on them then they must face reality and reality is something they’ve tried to avoid by every means possible.  They’ve become accustomed to living in their own little fantasy land.
  3.     Facing the reality you are pointing out to them means admitting to their own shame and guilt.  They’ve been outted, they can’t hide any more, the gig is up and they realize they have gone to far, pushed you to your brink and realized you are very close to walking out of their lives for good.  Humans can only take so much before their breaking point hits.  Reach this plateau and you are on thin ice my friend.

There are warning signs, you just need to know your limits and theirs and go ahead with the reality lesson.  You know you’ve struck a raw nerve if they get defensive right away.  They will also become argumentative and will try to avoid you afterwards because they know you will deliver a hard dose of truth and are not afraid to call bullshit on them.

You warn them by saying “STOP” this behavior and they come back at you a day or two later, sometimes longer for some, and either ask for forgiveness , another chance or for you to keep believing in them and for you not to give up on them or give up hope.  Then they will avoid you again.  It’s a tactic to keep you there so don’t be afraid to speak your mind.  They have a right to know what they’ve done with the choices they’ve made.   They have a right to know they’ve hurt themselves and others and that if the behavior continues they’ll end up alone because they will have alienated everyone with their actions.

I have had to lay down some pretty hard truths this last year and because of that have had people yell at me and call me names and also go round telling others they hate me because they were forced to face their own realities.  So what, I’m grown and I can certainly handle it.  It may have saved a life, forced someone to get sober and pushed someone to face their addictions and realize there is more to life and that life is worth living.  If you can’t stay truthful you become fake and no-one wants to deal with a fake person because they can never be trusted.  Remain truthful and you will always be remembered.  You will be the one standing tall because you will never have to keep track of what you’ve said and to whom.  The truth will always set you free and free is where we all want to be.

In some cases we have to be a bit harsh and blunt to get through to the stubborn but do you know what?

If they truly love and respect you they’ll seriously sit and think about what you’ve said to them.  Especially if you’ve hit that raw nerve.  If they become combative well, you know what they say, ‘The Truth Hurts’ and it hurts because it’s real and when it’s real the heart and soul ache.

You can’t expect everyone in the world to treat you with kit-gloves, especially when you know for a fact you are in the wrong.

Stop trying to mask the wrongs and learn to accept the truth, even if it hurts.  Pain both physical and emotional lets you know that you, my dear friend, are still very much alive.

Accept what is….

Learn from it….

Correct what is wrong….

Keep moving on….

Until next time my loves.

This is your last Quintessential Truth for 2015.

The Truth Will Set You Free - Urban Road. Indeed the truth will set you

The Truth Will Set You Free – Urban Road. Indeed the truth will set you

SEE YOU ALL NEXT YEAR!

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Copy Right Protected
by the Crimson Vaults
2015.

**Click on any Image to redirect to the images webpage/designer where it has been provided.
All images are found using Google Image Search and are not always labelled
I hold no ownership to any image used unless otherwise stated**


Seasoning Tenacity – A Quintessential Truth #23


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***WARNING…..If you are easily offended by truth and reality, don’t read this section.
These are my personal opinions and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, nor am I looking for confrontation. Any resemblance to real life people or situations is purely coincidental.
I simply have an outlet for such topics and reserve the right to put them here.***

Whimsical Heart Art Mixed Media Art Folk by JCSpockWhimsicalArt

Whimsical Heart Art Mixed Media Art Folk by                       JCSpockWhimsicalArt

“Be tenacious not a teetotaler”

If you want to be heard then speak. Seduce the mind into thought.  People love to think, day-dream, wander through moments of silence.  So why not provoke them into reasoning with themselves.  You don’t have to craft a bunch of meaningless bullshit to ignite the art of thought.  One simple truth can stimulate the human cerebrum with enough command so that it becomes some-what aroused.

Becoming conscious of a lifetime of occurrences can be beneficial for many especially if we are to bequeath it to the young people who will develop or flourish with what we teach them.

Instead of becoming enraged with events of conflict redirect those feelings to something positive.  With so much anger and pain in the world we need to remember how to make waves of positive response.  It is easy to become outraged when something immoral happens.  So, to that I say find a way to create light in the darkness.  Learn to possess appropriate or seasonable tenacity or perseverance.

Be determined and not submissive. If you want people to hear you then you must find a positive avenue to deliver your thoughts.  You don’t need to smack someone in the face with a yardstick to get their attention but rather write something that will open their eyes to thought.  Own your zeal and become the zenith of life in the concrete jungle.

Truth-telling isn’t an art form but the way one delivers truth is.  There are so many angry and hateful beings out there that learning to avoid them becomes a new every day experience for us.  I’ve had to do this as well as cut the negativity out of my life.  It’s quite liberating you know.  There are just folk out there that will latch on to your life-teet and suck you dry if you don’t wise yourself up to it.  In regular terms we call them ‘users’ , people, not drug users but ‘users’, meaning they will befriend you and use you for popularity gains and promotion (without giving back or thanks) and get you to continuously do things for them so they don’t have to actually do anything for themselves but they will sit there and reap the rewards of your hard work for themselves and are arrogant enough not to mention you in the credits for lack of a better description.

I’ve known a few people like this in my days, the ungrateful and hateful cunts, as I like to call them.  In the beginning they come across as so loving and supportive and endearing but as time marches on and they get into a comfort zone changes start to take place.  Expectations:  You’ll notice this when you’ve had a little time away from them that one of the first things they say to you upon re-engagement is “Oh, I’m sorry I’ve just been so busy I hadn’t realized so much time had passed since we last spoke.”  a ‘true‘ person always finds half a second to say hello or even a thank you.  a ‘fake-ass‘ person will be loaded with excuses.  If you are confused or uncertain about someone test out my little theory.  Drop off all your social media for one or two weeks without notice.  See who sends you messages to find out if all is well with you and when you re-connect with people make note of the conversation, how it starts, is it with concern for why you haven’t been around or is it with an”Oh, I noticed you hadn’t been posting or sharing any of ‘my‘ stuff.”  This will be a real eye-opener I assure you.  I’ve done it myself and two comments that have always stood out during those times came from the same person, how ironic.

#1.     “I noticed you changed your bio and I’m questioning your loyalty.”

#2.     “You’re unpredictable and you hurt my feelings when I didn’t see you posting my stuff.”

I don’t think anything has annoyed me more than those two statements alone.

My responses to those are this:

#1.     Funny, because I thought ‘my‘ social media accounts were for me and not them. So what does ‘my bio‘ have to do with any loyalty to anyone or anything.  I possess the will and ability to change things up if ever and when ever I want to.  I am here to promote myself over and above anyone else.

#2.     Was I being paid to promote you?  No, Funny, because I thought I was an individual capable of doing what I wanted to do out of the goodness of my heart.  There are just some people in this world who think you owe them or you must do for them before yourself and sulk like an infant when they don’t get their own way.  To that I say to motherfucking bad.  I existed before you and I will exist after you contrary to what you might think.

WoW! Am I the only asshole here who can think for themselves, isn’t this a tad bit odd to have happen.  Exactly how many sticks of dynamite would we have to set off before these types of people will look and see past the noses on their own faces.

Be tenacious~~you bet we will

We walk but we never walk alone! ~ Remember that…

We can still entice with love and put a spin on it that stings for days when we’re done.

This is yet another one to think on……….Until we meet again.

Whimsical Heart Art

Whimsical Heart Art

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Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015.

Copy Right Protected
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2015.

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The Quiet Ones: A Quintessential Truth #22


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They say that the quiet ones are often the most dangerous and that a writer may disappear at any given time, so don’t let it shock you when it happens.

Everyone who writes anything has their own routine when doing so.  Some grab a glass of red wine, a coffee, tea or water.  While others have a pack of cigarettes, lighter and ashtray or merely one single cigarette and one match for finishing time.  There are a multitude of routines for anyone writing.  I have no particular routine, as I pen this piece it is 11:55 pm on a Monday night and I’ve just selected “The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo” on Shomi, my husband is brushing his teeth and preparing for slumber but I will be up for quite some time yet.  I guess the one routine I do possess is that once I commence the pen to paper, I don’t stop until done. This is why I prefer smaller written pieces of 3000 words or less, it is because I loath leaving a piece unfinished; should I ever do that the chances of me ever getting back to finish it are slim to none.  This is the life of an off-the-cuff-writer.

Other writers need complete silence and an individual workplace such as a writer’s nook like a desk or a lap desk, where they can put their feet up, relax and hear nothing.  If I were to select a perfect place for myself it would be late at night by a fireplace in a cabin, in the woods near a calm lake.  The perfect  setting sometimes means everything to a writer.  It can help a creative mind to have the atmosphere that feeds their grey matter.

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Some are easily distracted and that’s why the need for total silence.  I am distracted by my own mind, it wanders within its own thoughts.  People like me go mad with total and complete silence yet at the same time chaos and constant distractions do the same.  So, we must therefore find a balance that works for us each as individuals.  For example;  I can and must sleep in total darkness at night but I can also nap during the day with the television on if I’m tired enough, at night I prefer to have the soundtrack of a thunderstorm and rain to achieve full rest;  weird right?..I know..  The same principle can be applied to writing.

When the mood strikes me, I simply grab one of my many composition books and suitable pen and off I go.  I guess writing instruments are also somewhat of a routine for writers as well.  Anything from a certain type of pen, pencil, typewriter, computer, laptop o tablet to a special type of paper, bound notebook or lined or coloured paper.  Every person has their preference.

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I can take small breaks during the writing journey such as a smoke break or to use the facilities or grab a quick snack.  but usually I just write straight through to the end of my thoughts.  I don’t know exactly where they come from or how they form into a patterned piece but so far they seem to be well received.  Yes, I know, I have a lot of repetitive word usage, it’s the way I talk and the way I see things which naturally falls outside the rules of writing.  I’m also dyslexic which poses problems on its own, especially when I read it back to myself.  I’ve had up to twenty-five plus edits on a single piece for this reason alone.  Yet, I don’t give up the inner fight to keep doing something that soothes my soul.

I believe every writer has at least one unfinished piece that’s been sitting there forever that they really wish they could provide an ending to but the timing has never been right.  I say to that please don’t ever throw it away because one day the ending to that story will come and it will be when you least expect it.  Sometimes we hit a little rut and feel uninspired, this is where reading and writing prompts can come into play and give us a little boost and they can be quite a bit of fun.  I recommend giving them a little try here and there.  they can boost your brain into hyper-drive.  I would also recommend stepping outside your writing routine and style every once in a while to challenge yourself.  It can be quite invigorating, like standing on a mountain top with your arms spread and letting the wind blow through your hair.

Take it all in, breathe, listen to as much music as possible as it will definitely set your soul free as well as guide you when you need it most.  Find your little nook in the world and allow your words to flow.

Go with that you know.

Don’t ever be afraid to walk into the fire and let your soul burn through your finger tips and create something that is all yours.

Insomnia Art by AnnThraxx

Insomnia Art by AnnThraxx

Until next time…

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Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

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Intrinsic Value – Quintessential Truth #21


 

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***WARNING…..If you are easily offended by truth and reality, don’t read this section.
These are my personal opinions and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, nor am I looking for confrontation. The people, places and topics are fictitious and any resemblance to real life people or situations is purely coincidental.
I simply have an outlet for such topics and reserve the right to put them here.***

Own it and Alter – It’s become a new phrase with many meanings.  When one thinks about it it’s really to own what you are, what you stand for and your beliefs and refine your best self.  Don’t become disillusioned and own someone else’s beliefs, ideas, stories or personalities.  It’s really okay to just be yourself.

Why does it take most of us half our lifetimes to finally love and accept who we are as people?

We spend so much time prior to this realization, trying to conform to please everyone around us.  We alter our thoughts, our likes, our opinions and the way we dress and carry ourselves at the hands of others.  Our parents tell us how to dress, after all they buy our clothing and as children we don’t often get to pick our attire.  Parents have a budget so we got the budget clothing.  When I was younger my clothing often came from the thrift stores and I had no choice to adapt or conform to what my father and step-mother wanted.  My father hated helping me brush out my long black hair, so one day he decided to take me to his barber and said cut it all off.  I cried for days, he made me look like a boy.  Over time my hatred grew so I conformed to the tom-boy look to survive.  When I hit high school there were so many looks it didn’t matter.  But once we get out into the work world well, here we go all over again.  Our bosses are the ones telling us how to dress to live up to their dress code.  So really, when do we find the time to freely be ourselves.  When do we get to own it or have our Intrinsic Refine.

How much do people alter themselves to please others?

That’s a really big question with an avalanche of answers.  Face it, we alter ourselves constantly in one form or another, right from the age we notice people are making comments to or about us.  It starts in school and we all know how kids can be cruel.  They start with their snide little comments in their little self-formed groups.  Passing notes to each other in class, hollering taunts and name calling in the school yard playground.  You’d think as we grow older this would change.  It does for some, yet not for others things just don’t change and potentially become worse.

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Scenario #1

Belinda was a bit chubbier girl than the others in grade school.  Kids, being the horrible little shits they can be, taunted her, called her terrible names, tripped her on the school bus and threw food and things at her in the lunch room, calling her a piggy and making pig squeals at her. When it rained, they threw mud at her and told her to bathe in it.  Over the next few years as Belinda grew, she went through many changes.  she developed breasts and her hair grew longer.  In high school she took up sports and became quite the athlete.  Three years later no-one recognized her, now taller and slim, she was the one girl all the guys wanted and they made no secret of it.  Now, Belinda had to put up with cat-calls, whistles, hoots, over the top ridiculous comments and unwanted touches.  The notes in class where mostly boys saying they would fuck her and the girls calling her a slut, a whore or a stripper.  Where do the good changes happen?

Belinda became a recluse, finished high school in silence, graduating with great grades that would get her into a prestigious university where the next set of hurdles were presented.  College boys were always trying to get her drunk, she had no interest in parties.  She managed to keep them all at bay and became a strong-willed beautiful advertising executive and chose to become an advertiser for a rather popular clothing line specializing in plus sized women.  Although she was able to become an even stronger woman, she still looks back on those very painful days and reminds herself she overcame them all and came out the winner, while most of the others crashed and burned, dropped out, got pregnant…blah. blah, blah..

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Subject: Tess Holliday

Scenario #2

Tanner was a quiet child, he had three sisters but when he turned eight his mothered noticed him playing with dolls and that he had adopted some-what of a feminine personality.  Rather than have discussions with him she ignored it but gossiped about it to her neighbours on a daily basis.   His older sisters started making fun of him and dressing him up like a girl with their clothing and make-up.  They thought it was hilarious.  Two years later Tanner tried to kill himself by cutting both his wrists.  Then the family took notice and tried to get him help.  But the doctors, rather than let Tanner express who he was, tried to force him to see that he was born a boy.  He had boy parts so, therefore he was a boy.  Tanner tried to tell them that he may look like a boy and have boy parts but his brain said he was a girl.  For eight years of public school and five years of high school, Tanner had to live as a boy, someone he was not comfortable being.  When he entered College, he met new friends and discovered that they too had the same issues he had.  So, together they decided to “come out” they went to a thrift store on their college budgets and found outfits that made each of them look and feel like the people they were supposed to be.  Though they were now comfortable in their own skin they now had to face ridicule of their class-mates who living our their own fears started the taunting.  One afternoon Tanner and his friend Rylee decided to skip class and go hiking.  Tanner, an avid photographer brought along his camera and he and Rylee took turns posing and taking pictures of each other until they ran into a group of jocks.  They were both chased down, beaten and Tanner was tied up to a tree fully naked with the word freak written across his chest.  Rylee was stripped down and chased and wound up running right out into the path of oncoming traffic and was hit and killed, instantly.  Though an investigation was done and the group of thugs all caught, tried and convicted of their crime, Tanner could not handle things emotionally and he too tried to take his own life, but did not succeed.  While in hospital  Tanner met Micheline, a pre-op transgender.  Micheline knew how Tanner felt and the two of them became the best of friends.  Over time Tanner learned to accept who he truly was and finally became Tanielle, and what a beautiful transgender female he became.  Strong and beautiful, Tanielle and Micheline, together became advocates for other transgender youth and opened up a center in support of the life style.  They counsel and help thousands of youth still to this day and are well-known in their community.  They will not conform to haters and are comfortable in their new founds skins.

There are so many other scenarios that could play out in this choice of discussion but my point is this.  Always be comfortable with who you are and never be afraid to express yourself as you see fit.  The world is continuously changing, there will always be people out there trying to change you but stay strong and believe in yourself.  It may take the majority of us to get well into our forties before we realize that others have been telling us who to be and how to dress but in the end we are who we are.  Don’t be afraid to make changes to make you happy and don’t be afraid to support your friends for the same reasons.  you are never to young and never to old to take charge of your life and craft your Intrinsic Value.  This is not the end of the line but merely the beginning.

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Real Jilly G

Real Jilly G

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Outside the Lines – Quintessential Truth #20


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***WARNING…..If you are easily offended by truth and reality, don’t read this section.
These are my personal opinions and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, nor am I looking for confrontation.
I simply have an outlet for such topics and reserve the right to put them here.***

I’ve always wanted to stay outside the lines when it comes to writing.  After all, if we strive to be like everyone else how can we stick out like a sore thumb.

The truth is, we don’t want to.  We write for ourselves before anyone else.  I’m never worried about numbers or how many likes and shares I get, some others may disagree with me and that’s okay.  It really matters not to me and it’s why I stay away from any form of writing competitions.  I’m happy writing on my blog.  But I will suggest and share them with my friends because I believe they are far more talented than I and I also believe they deserve every avenue possible to share their work with the public.  Writing has been therapy for me since the painful age of eight, one year after a major life altering disaster struck followed by one turmoil after another.  I had left it alone near twenty years when I was encouraged to try it again; I remember that one short sentence “write something for me” and I’m happy to say it has brought me out of many a dark place.  It didn’t cost me thousands in therapy bills nor did it put me in debt to anyone for doing so.  It simply boils down to being remembered not noticed.  It could be you remembered I pissed you off with what I wrote one night but it was because I made you stop and think about something.  Guess I would consider that a job well done. Don’t worry I didn’t pat myself on the back, actually I thought, wow I’m really onto something here. Who knew…

Most of the time I write straight off the cuff.  I’ve never been one to sit and plot something out, my attention span is that of a Natt and what you see is what you get.  An idea pops inside my head and the will to get it out just takes over. Before I know it I have completed it and published it.  There is a mode I go into and no one can interrupt me when this happens.  I can say I have touched many with the pieces I have written and shared and it happens unintentionally.  There is a whole world of like-minded folk out there who have lived, felt or understand what I say and it keeps me going.  Sometimes I’m like a ticking time bomb inside and the only way I know to get out of it is to write it out of me.  The odd time it provokes someone but it is just circumstantial that it happens.  I have many online friends that write and through their writing I find inspiration and it often triggers something inside me to start typing.  There are a couple of people who rouse somewhat of a synchronicity out of me when they post.  I truly love this feeling.  Their will feeds my soul and they don’t even realize it most of the time.

I am a reclusive person by nature.  I only go out when I have to and I don’t socialize much, mostly because I have no patience for drama and I can be very temperamental.  Which is odd because I can watch a million drama style shows and movies but I don’t want it in real life.  I prefer night over daylight, there is something about the darkness of night I find comforting.  There is no busy or hectic commotion to set my head in a spin, the slightest thing can set me off.  I have no idea why, my brain just operates on a different wave-length than most.

Unlike many and most writers, I don’t chose to follow the rules.  Could be the rebel side of me I guess, who knows, but standing out apart from the rest is a good thing for me.  People tend to remember that which is different.  I often use the term when talking to people that I am all over the map.  I’m just different and I like it that way, especially if it means you will remember me long after I’m gone.  It means I managed to leave a mark.  There are people I no longer associate with that still, for lack of better term, stalk me, to see what I’m doing.  I find this more flattering than annoying because it means they miss something about me.  What that something is I have no idea, but I clearly left a mark on their lives, something they cannot seem to let go of, and for the most part, it’s not that I did something horrible to them, it’s just that they were called on their own bullshit or I simply just walked away and left them thinking about why that would have happened.  There is one group of girls who after a year and a half still stalk me.  Why?  who knows, honestly I don’t really care, they mean nothing to me.  I’m not a rug or a welcome mat, you’re not going to try to walk all over me and wipe the shit off your boots on my back.  Yet they worry about what I have to say.  Guess I managed to leave my mark there too.  It’s like people take everything so literally, you post something on your personal social media and there are some rather than just taking it for the entertainment value that it is, they take it personally or automatically think I’m living it or going through it or even thinking it.  Fact is I saw it, found humor or truth in it and thought it good to share with others.  It’s a simple concept, right.  Those I no longer follow for my own personal reason still feel the need to secretly scroll through my feed and then go talk to someone about it. It’s funny, they actually think that by saying things to someone that it won’t get back to me in one form or another, I think this is absolutely hilarious.  I just take it for what it is and find a way to write about it.  Imminent poking is always lurking behind each provocation.

It’s true, I write from the position of “I” with the Quintessential Truths series, but it’s my prerogative and this is where I can stand outside the lines the most.  We are always told in English class to try to stay away from writing from this perspective, so the rebel in me says Ha! fight the conformity!

“This is my fight song, my take back my life song”  I love this lyric, it stands for so much, like me, I stand for so many things, things that most discuss in their living-rooms with friends, I will bring those things out into the light and make you pay attention to them, question them and think about them.  This is how I do, poke and provoke.  Make you see, keep you from being blinded.  If I wanted to be like everyone else, I would do what everyone else does the way everyone else does it.  I want to be different.  I will take the ugliness of realities and beautify them in my own way.  My written way.

 

There is another one to think on…

Until we meet again…….

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FOOD FOR THOUGHT

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Never Run Back…A Quintessential Truth #19

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Sometimes, no matter how much you care about someone, you have to walk away for your own good.  I’ll bet you’ve heard that a million times before.  Only those who truly care about you can hear you when you are quiet.  Those who broke you don’t even notice nor do they really care.  The self-absorbed we choose to call them.  Those who will never admit to their wrong doing or should a slim chance come along that they do it is accompanied by a multitude of excuses for their behavior, their boo-hoos if you will.  This can be from a potential mate, a best friend or even a family member.  I’ve seen it from all angles and survived it all.  An individuals ability to turn things around for themselves and heal from the inside out is the best option and only inner growth will strengthen your resolve to such things.

At this point I would normally provide a few scenarios but when it comes to matters of the heart and soul there are so many where would I even start.

Instead let’s focus on how to turn things around for one’s self. We’ll start with heartbreak as each and every one of us has dealt with it at some point and if you haven’t you’re lying to yourself.  First know that it will suck, there’s no other way to say it or even try to sugarcoat it.  It will suck harder than you ever thought it possibly could, for longer than you would ever of thought possible… and then IT WILL END, but not until you’ve given yourself time to grieve over the situation and learn how to deal with your feelings and move forward.  But first you have to fight that ugly urge to get back together.  Remember you broke up for a reason.  Don’t ever let anyone treat you less than you are worth.

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Once you accept this growth process you will become a stronger person and less likely to allow a reoccurrence. During this time you will cry over everything from mushy chick flicks to sad love songs and yes even hallmark commercials.  You won’t want to get out of bed, bathe, eat or even consciously think about any thing but the person who broke you inside.  It’s okay, ride the roller coaster of emotions, it’s normal.  There is no time limit of how long this is supposed to take so don’t be too harsh on yourself.  It’s okay to treat it like a death and mourn it.  You’ll cry a lot and feel like your heart has broken into a million pieces.  Believe it or not there is a science to what you will go through to emerge the victor of your own self-worth.

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Don’t ever give up the hope of love.  Sometimes it’s all too much, sometimes at the wrong time and place, and sometimes it’s just with the wrong person. But you must keep on possessing the will of loving. The world outside is enchanting and you need to explore it all.  Just remind yourself of this very important lesson my Grandmother taught me:  If you could fall that hard for a person who is completely wrong for you, imagine how hard you can fall for the person who is perfect for you.  This is probably the single most eye-opening statement she ever could have said to me and I have no doubt that millions of grandmothers and mothers around the globe have done the same for millions of you.

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Now, come closer, can you hear me?  Good, this next point is so incredibly valid and of the utmost importance: don’t immediately try to find someone new to distract yourself.  This would be a total disaster if you were to fall into it.  Try your best to stay clear of not-so-wise choices and not-so-healthy behaviours.  You know what I am talking about here right?  Don’t go out and drink yourself into oblivion, don’t lose sight of who you are as a person.  For the sake of all that is worldly, whatever you do, don’t mix your heartbreak with dozens of vodka shots and social media outbursts.   It’s one of the worst self-destructive things you can do.  I’ve witnessed this and it is ugly, trust me, don’t go there.  Make sure that you don’t hide away from all things and places that remind you of them but get rid of any of their crap they left behind, you don’t need it and you didn’t need it before them.  Especially clothing and jewelery, fuck it and take that shit to the pawn shop and go buy yourself something new.  All you’re gonna do is look at it and cry if you keep it.  The only way to move past something is to move right on through it.  Not like a runaway freight train but keep yourself in tact and still enjoy those places and things without them.  Those places and things were there long before you met them and will still be there long after they are gone.  Don’t stop listening to your favorite band just because they liked them too, music soothes the soul.

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Now, here is another important message, and I can not stress this enough:  Don’t have the “let’s do it one more time for old times sake” sex.  Oh how I cringe at the very thought of that.  Not only will you feel really shitty about yourself but it will rekindle those feelings that you are trying to get past and leave you at square one without any progress of self-growth.  In other words, you WILL regret it.  Food for thought here: we all tend to remember the good times and suppress all the bad times, so when you’re looking back on things, make sure to include all the things you despised about them like how they never gave you affection unless you pushed up on them or asked for it or how every time you went through a hardship or an emotional roller coaster they managed to trivialize what you were going through and made it all about what they were dealing with instead of listening to you and being there for you or when they left you out in the cold, alone, to deal with things on your own. This will give you tons of perspective.

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Never let this turn you into a bitter cynical version of your true self.  We all wish that we could tell our younger selves that they will learn from their heart breaks but the reality factor is that we can’t.  But, we can help each other get through the worst of times with what we have all learned in the process.  After all what is the point of learning something if we can not pass that wealth of new knowledge on to others and watch them grow.  Never let anyone become defeated by their own minds.

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“Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.  You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.”  Lucille Ball

That is your new role in this type of situation.  Loving yourself.  Finding yourself  again after being so close with and sharing so much with someone else is difficult.  You’re not going to be the same person you were before all this, you’re going to be a better, stronger version of you.  It’s the Breakdown of yourself  and then the buildup and redefining yourself  to be even better version of what you were.  Some call it a rebirth resembling the phoenix.  Now it is time to think about the type of person you want to be with by making yourself the priority.  You’ve just experienced a few bad days or even months but remember, it won’t last forever; IT WILL END… And, here is a very important message from me to you, don’t be afraid to Unfriend, unfollow, block.  Do whatever you’ve got to do so you aren’t constantly stalking them to see what they’re up to.  You are wasting valuable self-healing time that you should be spending on yourself.  If it is necessary for you then stop communicating and stop social media stalking, cause you know people do it daily to the point of losing sleep and having it affect their work and family lives, then do it. Every time you talk to them or look at their profile, it hurts you and you aren’t doing yourself any good because the whole time you are saying to yourself we can fix this, why can’t we fix this and you are putting yourself in limbo. Think of it this way: If you tear open your skin, you bleed and you are left with a great big gaping wound, you would naturally put a bandage on it in order for it to heal or it would become infected and cause you more and more pain. But, if you kept lifting up that bandage to look at your wound, it won’t heal. You need to put the bandage on and leave it be and let it heal in its own time, meaning this: DON’T TALK TO HIM/HER and also DON’T LOOK AT THEIR FACEBOOK/INSTAGRAM/TWITTER or any other social media accounts and give yourself time and let yourself heal. It will only hurt you and slow down your healing process if you revert to old habits.  It is time to realize that maybe, just maybe this person didn’t love you the way you wanted them to.  It’s time to give yourself a chance to find that one person who will deserve you and everything you are and have to offer.  You’ll never be the same again but that’s okay because you will become something far better.  Get rid of the stereotypes and expectations and live.  Give up control on what holds you back from moving forward and accept that you can get over all this and find happiness.

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I don’t think I need to elaborate on anything else because you can actually apply this type of healing to any situation in any type of relationship.  All you need to do is make a few alterations.

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And that is your

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Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

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Making Excuses..A Quintessential Truth #18


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Excuses, we all use them and equally, we all despise them at the same time.  So what do you do when one of your closest friends lives in a world of excuses and how do you not become annoyed with them from time to time because you see the pattern when they don’t?

That is going to be the topic of today’s Quintessential Truth session.

The scenario plays out like this…….. Your friendship develops with someone over time and you discover what an extraordinary soul they are but you also see that they continually have a plethora of excuses for their irrational behaviors and the excuses come to them so easily.  They flow off their tongue or from their fingertips with the ease of taking a breath.  How do you not want to smack them upside the head and scream SNAP  OUT OF IT!?

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It is a fine line we walk on when faced with such things.  We can sit there and ask why; why; why, but the fact is we will just be fed excuse after excuse over and over again.  They’ve become so predispositioned to do this in their lives to cover up their pains and frustration that it is like second nature to them and for some of them they don’t even realize they do it so often.  We can’t hook them up to a polygraph machine every time we have a conversation with them so when do we know they are being truthful and when do we realize they are just feeding us a line of bullshit so that we douse the fire of our annoyances with them.  It can get quite sticky and very frustrating.  If they possess a brilliant creative mind already these excuses flow quite rapidly and the delivery person is always looking for forgiveness and understanding.  It takes a pretty patient person to put up with this on a regular basis but sometimes the patient person takes about all they can take and they break in the temper department.

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You can not force a person to be open and honest with you when they haven’t accepted who they are yet.  They will sugar coat everything with a love factor and/or a fantasy world they are used to living in.  The whys are simple, if they face their realities they must also face their pain.  Not physical pain, the inner pain that makes them question everything about themselves, self analyzing is never a fun thing to do but it is a necessary evil we must all face at one point or another.  Harboring inner pain and masking it causes more long-term hurt to one’s self and those around you more than you will ever realize.  It is okay to break sometimes, we are only human after all.  We possess emotions and with those emotions come occasional losses of inner balance.  The human race has managed to find many ways to hide behind inner pain.  Some turn to drugs and/or alcohol to numb the pain or forget.  In the long run these methods cause even more problems and more pain.  If we face our issues head on and do a self analyzation we could save on shrink bills in large ways.

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Cry wolf one to many times and who will believe you in the end?

Here in lies our own personal ability to forgive.  That is the line we draw for ourselves.  It is because the question arises; if I forgive does that make me a fool?  Well let’s look at forgiveness for a second: the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven.  Forgiveness is incredibly powerful, that is a known fact, but what does it mean to forgive?

Forgiveness can release another from guilt or the feeling of guilt and in turn releases a bit of inner pain.  Put as simply as possible, forgiveness is releasing the other from the penalty of our anger towards them so the relationship/friendship can be restored.  It is the emotional standing of the four basic elements of

1.  A decision to release inner turmoil,

2.  A decision to sacrifice something within ourselves,

3.  A decision to allow us to trust, and

4.  A decision to grow within ourselves.

There are always lessons to be learned in life and as a continual life student I possess the ability to share my insight with you.  So the next time to face an excuse monster, stop, think and breathe, take a few minutes to decide what it is that will move you forward or hold you back and chose wisely from a grown up perspective.

You only live once….

For those who are the excuse creators, you decide whether you want to stay stuck in your world of excuses or if you want to move forward and be the best you that you can be.  Don’t lose the trust and love from those closest to you because one is such a lonely number.

REMEMBER THIS

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And don’t become this….

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I thank you for stopping by and going through another Quintessential Truth with me.

Until we meet again.

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Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

**Click on any Image to redirect to the images webpage/designer where it has been provided.
All images are found using Google Image Search and are not always labelled
I hold no ownership to any image used unless otherwise stated**


Some People are so Touchy – Quintessential Truth #17


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Have you ever noticed how some people are just so touchy?

I have and as I write I see it more often than not.  The type of people I’m referring to are the ones who inevitably think everything we say, do or write is about them.  Hell, I’ve had people attack me verbally because they read far too much into something I’ve written and automatically assumed the piece was about them when in fact it was simply just a piece of writing in general.

Do folks not realize it is a writer who can provoke us with their words.  Writers provoke thought, discussion and unintentionally bring on verbal assaults from readers.  So let’s look at why this happens from a simple stand-point, shall we?

A writer puts out something, at the time it could mean something to them or it just plain and simply is just a piece of writing.  Either way here comes a jump….. So why do these jumps or attacks if you will, happen?  It’s just writing people.  But alas, there are always a few who will read far too much into things.  These people have many inner personal demons and in reality are just sitting and waiting for the slightest thing to set them off.

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This happened to me recently.  I wrote a piece and within hours received an attempted bash at me.  Here’s the thing though, I had no idea that this person was actually reading my work.  After all they never left a comment on any of my pieces so therefore I had no reason to know they would read it.  Also, this person was not forced to read it, it was simply put out as a general share, I surely didn’t push it in their face and say here you have to read this.  They let their own personal demons take over and they lashed out at me and ruined a friendship because I will never talk to this person again.  I don’t scare easily and I certainly am not going to start censoring my work to please someone else.

Personal demons exist in people far longer than before any writer of any sort enters their realm of life.  If what is written stirs something inside them then there is something either they are refusing to deal with or just plain don’t want to deal with.  Sometimes its guilt.  We all have some form of guilt at one time or another.  Usually over bad decisions we’ve made.  But the reality factor is those are our crosses to bare.  You can’t blame someone else for your misfortunes, that is just a plain and pure honest fact.  The other thing is when this happened to me the individual didn’t just go after me, they went round behind my back and started the telephone game.  You remember that one don’t you.

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Such a ridiculous thing to do.  We all have friends we vent to but to purposefully go from person to person in a common circle and spread rumours and innuendos for their own personal gain is about as immature as it gets.  After doing all this and verbally jumping me they told me they were never going to write again and that they were going to disappear off the internet altogether, which I knew was total bullshit by the way, another game to try to make me feel bad.  At this point, yes, I did an eye roll amongst other things.  So with that person it’s pretty much like this….

2dccb34335f30aa9a2b0ac218d7a2397 which I do not…..

Look, a dear friend of mine pointed this fact out and it makes perfect sense to me.  I could be super pissed off at someone and write a story and in that story I could kill them eight different ways from Tuesday but at the end of the day it’s just a bloody story and that is all it is.  That is what writing is like.  Ideas come and go just like that and for some of us the ideas pop up and the weirdest of times.  Some writers plan their stories out.  They use story boards and create plots etc.  But there are others of us who just write straight off the cuff and what you see is what you get.  Like this article I’m giving you right now.  I had no plan to write it.  I knew I wanted to write something.  It’s 5:14 in the morning and I have severe insomnia because I’m an insomniac and this shit just happens without warning.  My husband is dead asleep right beside me and I have my TV on and I felt like writing and the phrase “Some people are so touchy” from the movie Grease popped into my head and so here we are discussing that very thing.  Here’s the kicker, I’m not even watching Grease, I’m actually watching a TV show called Blood Relatives while I wait for the movie Flatliners to come on.  So you see one has nothing to do with the other, it just happens like this sometimes.

Now here’s the great thing about being a grown up and not forced to read something like we are in school, you don’t have to read it!  Bam, there it is….  Isn’t that a genius thought?

Here’s another great thing about being a grown up, when people come at you via the internet, guess what?  You don’t have to respond and you can actually unfriend, unfollow and even block them.  Bam, there it is again… What a revelation!

For my writing friends out there, keep on living your dream, keep on writing.  There is nothing more therapeutic alongside music of course than creating something all on your own.

I’m not here looking for a pay cheque or a gazillion word count to out do anyone.  I’m simply just here, doing what I do and peacefully gliding through life.

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Until we meet again with another installment of the Quintessential Truth…….

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dark angel by SaphireNishi

dark angel by SaphireNishi

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Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

**Click on any Image to redirect to the images webpage/designer where it has been provided.
All images are found using Google Image Search and are not always labelled
I hold no ownership to any image used unless otherwise stated**


Is The Cup Half Full or Half Empty…A Quintessential Truth #16


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I love it when insomnia kicks in, no really, for people like me it’s like a good drunk, the most truth comes out and a lot of thought-provoking ideas when I choose to write.  After all it is how “Quintessential Truths” were born and they’ve become quite popular.  For this occasion let’s look at the Green Monster, now it’s not the Green-eyed Monster of jealousy, I’m taking about paper here people.  Money, yes, money changes everything or everyone if you will.  In some form or another people change.

Yeah, let’s face it, you know it’s true for the most part.  There aren’t too many people in the world that a little money won’t change.  It may be for a minute or three or permanently.  To each is his own and so on and so forth.  Some change for the better and others well, let’s just say if you aren’t in their paper realm you don’t matter much.

One thing for sure I know to be true is I sure wouldn’t drop my friends who have always been there supporting me through the thick of the shit.  Those people see us at our worst and still they stay.   That says something about character don’t you think.  But for some put a little green in their palms and boom! you become the last thing on their minds instead of the first.  Suddenly you aren’t so important any more.  Shocking right?  It really shouldn’t be.

So here we are at Is the cup half full or half empty…. you tell me:

Think about it.  I recently watched a video that was done in two parts.  The first a guy dressed up as a raggy, dirty bum and had a sign beside him that said broke and out of work, need money for booze and drugs.  Here’s the kicker, at least a dozen people, just your average Joe passer-by dropped bills into his cup and told him to have a drink on them or keep on smoking that green brotha!, shocking.  The second part he dressed up as a single father with a young daughter, sat in the same place with a sign that read, Unemployed and homeless, need money for food.  Every single person passed them by pretending not to see them until one lady walked up to them and said this is all I made today but I want to give it to you, I am homeless too but you need it more than I do, may I pray for you and your daughter?  What is even more amazing is that this was a social experiment and the guy got up and thank the woman for her kindness and opened his wallet and gave her one hundred dollars out of his own money after telling her about the experiment they were doing.  This video combo went viral.  What is wrong with the world today?

Now let’s look at another scenario.  Mary, a forty-seven year old mother of three has worked steadily for the past 13 years of her life and prior to that owned 3 of her own businesses, she has been the main income earner of the family and supported everyone.  Mary recently lost her forty hour a week job and for the past six months has been actively looking for work.  But Mary is finding it difficult because company’s these days are hiring the younger generation because they will do twice as much work for less wages.  Mary has no one to help her out.  Her savings are gone, her credit cards are maxed out and her unemployment is about to run out right before the Christmas season hits.  It just proves that you can have all the experience in the world but it really doesn’t matter once you get over twenty-five.  The average work week seems to hit near seventy hours for most of the population.  How are people with children supposed to survive?

Meet my friend Kyle and his best friend Steph, they’ve known each other for years.  They would talk every day, for hours sometimes.  They would laugh, joke around and bring each other out of slumps.  Then Steph hit the jackpot and won the lottery.  Steph told Kyle her worries were all over and things were going to be all aces.  Then Steph disappeared. She sent the odd message, when she knew Kyle was offline, a cowardice act if you want an honest opinion.  She knew his internet habits and also knew he was very ill at the time but that didn’t matter.  Kyle looked at her avoidance as trite and quite rude.  All the endless hours he spent with her, listening to all her woes and lifting her spirits when she was near the brink of losing her sanity.  Kyle got pissed at her and you know what I don’t blame him.  It goes to show you how money changes people and how quickly they forget what you’ve done for them.  How quickly would you become insignificant in a situation such as this?

Money, the route to all evil.  Yup, that’s it in a nut shell.  Sure having money is nice but if you forget where you’ve come from and forget the people who helped you survive when you were all but lost then really what was it all for. And, in the same sense, not having money sucks and puts people in desperate times and horrible circumstances.

The reality is if you have a roof over your head, food on your table and clothing on your back, any thing else is a luxury.  Be thankful every day because you never know what tomorrow will bring.  You too, could find yourself homeless out in the cold sleeping on a heat grate out in the streets.  The next time you see someone like that don’t just walk passed them, spare a few dollars you would waste on a pack of cigarettes or buying junk food you don’t really need.  You could be saving someone’s life.  It takes very little to pay it forward.

Food for thought.

Until next time, keep your chin up to the sky and always learn to dance in the rain.

Oh and by the way THE CUP IS ALWAYS REFILLABLE!!!!!! 

PayItForward

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Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

**Click on any Image to redirect to the images webpage/designer where it has been provided.
All images are found using Google Image Search and are not always labelled
I hold no ownership to any image used unless otherwise stated**


Duplicity – A Quintessential Truth #15


Duplicity by kimsol

Duplicity
by kimsol

DUPLICITY:  contradictory doubleness of thought, speech, or action; especially :  the belying of one’s true intentions by deceptive words or action

You know I am pretty much a calm person but when pushed I don’t lie down and cry, I fucking push back.  I woke today with great anticipation and happiness.   After over a 4 month writing hiatus I had finally been bitten by the writing bug again late last night and I did so and posted and I was pleased. So this morning after rolling around in bed for 3 waking hours I was ready to get writing again, I had an avalanche of ideas going on in my head that needed to be written out and I penned two pieces of poetry and that is when things turned to shit.

Last night I penned a piece called “Forever had an Ending”  and it was a mere take on internet relationships comings and goings basically, different scenarios not directed to any one person(s) in specific and names were completely fictitious and I was damn proud of it.  But, one person had to throw something negative in my direction and start idle gossip behind my back.  WoW…Really?  You expected me to roll over and die….NEVER!    I won’t back down. It’s about time that this person got put into their place.  Listen, I’ve been around a long damn time and you know what?  I ain’t going nowhere…FACT.

Your duplicity is your burden to bear, not mine.

See here’s the thing when someone writes a comment and then deletes it the person it’s addressed to still gets the email and is able to see what was written.  It didn’t crush me, it bewildered me for a second and then I got angry.  After chatting with a friend I realized something, what I had written was fine and could have stood as it was but I took a new approach and bore compassion, how nice of me.  I figured better to adjust and save grace rather than cause an uproar, it was initially written describing such a commonplace happening, but now it’s my time to vent.

So, this “someone” tried to tarnish me in  eyes of others with idle gossip and added lies to a distorted truth, they failed. That article I penned describes at least half a dozen, if not more, of the people I know.  But what that initial reaction did do was send me back to the original article and take it from 1500 word count to an extended 3005 word count so it doubled in size and I am even prouder of it.  All this person’s arrogant negativity did was fuel my fire.  Thanks for being a cunt and giving me even more of will to write. It is just writing and things like that happen to people I know day in and day out.  If anyone found some similarity it’s coincidental I assure you and I will not apologize for it. They read only what they wanted to see and not what it was.  To make things worse I was woken up at 6:17 am by an attack from the same person via FB Messenger with a barrage of bullshit immaturity resembling a highschool lockerroom full of jealousy and idle babbling.  I was so not in the mood, it was not the right time and I was not the right person.  I stood my ground, with dignity, like a grown woman and like I always do.  Told this person they were narcissistic, that they needed to get their shit together and that they were sulking and needed to knock it off.

I was not put on this earth to be lead around with a collar and a leash, I possess free will.  If a person choses to look at everything from a negative viewpoint or think everything is about them it’s their choice to make if they are irrational you can not talk to them and if they harbor some sort of jealousy for no known reason it’s on them not the rest of us.  Clearly, I didn’t put their own personal thoughts into their head.  They tried to mold a situation to fit their own cause to direct anger in my general direction through vindictive measures.  They failed miserably.  I stand here highly supported in my conviction and stand my ground like the strength that dwells within me.  I’m not someone that can be pushed or manipulated, not any more.  They saw me as a threat before…….they ain’t seen nothing yet.  I’m not about to stop what I do anytime soon.

Writers have a right to create what they feel without being judged for it constantly.

See my face, know I mean what I say.

I ain’t nobody’s bitch!!!!

JillyG

JillyG

Battle Cry by lady-atropos

Battle Cry by lady-atropos

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Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

Original written work of Gillian A. Gibson Copy Right Protected by the Crimson Vaults 2015

**Click on any Image to redirect to the images webpage/designer where it has been provided.
All images are found using Google Image Search and are not always labelled
I hold no ownership to any image used unless otherwise stated**