To me, you are like a very annoying snake and I’m not sure that I need a very annoying snake in my life right now.
Things started to go wrong when I caught you acting with my sister.
It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s just that your twin sister is extremely mocking and your closest friend is, without a doubt, the most spiffing person I’ve ever known.
It’s true, we’ve had some great times bashing together. You have insides like strong steel vars and the most sexy tongue I’ve ever seen.
Your personality is like a really manky badger collapsing into my skull. When I see you drinking it makes me want to steal your raw insides and post them to the police station.
I lie in bed at night wishing you were a male model and not a snake who likes acting with my sister.
What I’m trying to say, is take your sexy tongue and go.
Yours no more
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