The Housewife Diaries #2 – The Decline of it all
This essay and story is a work of fiction.
Names, places, characters, and actions are the product of the Author’s imagination. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, or any business establishments or locales are entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved.
**No part of this publication may be reproduced by any means: electronic, mechanical, photocopied, recorded, or otherwise, without the prior written consent from the Author and publisher Gillian Anne Gibson**
As time marched on Phil continued on, alcohol free, and in September Phil proposed to Kate. Kate didn’t ever want to get married again and told Phil it was going to take a lot of convincing. He said he would convince her to change her mind.
Kate thought it would be a better idea rather than getting married she just wait until her divorce was final and legally change her last name to Phil’s. So she did just that. A few months later Phil was once again making the “when we get married” statements and getting Kate’s kids in on it. Until about six months into his sobriety when he finally proposed to Kate which completely took all the air out of her lungs and after a heavy discussion Kate finally said I will only consider marrying you if you remain sober with absolutely no relapses at all. If you can do that then on your one year sobriety anniversary we will marry.
Phil kept his promise and they married in a small family ceremony in a back yard style wedding on the exact day of the one year anniversary of his sobriety.
On their honeymoon night Phil pulled the I’m really tired, it’s been a long day and we should get some sleep move. This upset Kate greatly and she stated so. Therefore they made love, but it was brief, basic and very un-fulfilling for her and he rolled over and went to sleep immediately afterwards. This was yet another red flag that set her off into the land of doubt. When they got back home it wasn’t all sparks and fireworks like she’d expected it to be, it was more like yup, we’re married woopty-doo. Kate was already having regrets.
Six months later Kate was feeling lonely. She even called herself the loneliest married woman in the world. They no longer had those late night bubble baths, cuddled together and watched tv or movies and sex was maybe once a month and getting further in between. Instead when they got home from work Kate would make dinner for everyone and Phil just come home went straight up to the bedroom and spent all night on his laptop right until he went to bed. Kate went to sleep at her regular bedtime of 11 pm as she woke at 4:45 am to get up and get ready for her job. Phil on the other hand stayed up on his laptop until 2 or 3 in the morning, every night.
Phil soon stopped helping out around the house at about year one of their marriage, stating he didn’t do any housework or cleaning during the week because he worked. Kate was appalled by this revelation. Especially for the fact that they both worked full-time jobs. She worked 7am to 4pm five days a week. She would leave the house at 5:30 am and would not get home until around 6:00 pm every day. On weekends, her days off, all she did was go out and buy the groceries, clean and do laundry while Phil sat on his laptop all weekend long. Occasionally they would watch movies but more often than not they were movies Kate wasn’t really into.
Then they purchased, or rather, Phil purchased a little vacation spot. A little cottage get away spot and two hours out-of-town into the quiet country. From May to October, every weekend this is where they would be. But just like at home, Phil did his own thing and left Kate in the cottage alone all the time. They no longer did things together. More red flags and they were starting to fly high.
By year six they were just two people living in the same house like room-mates. Every time Phil wanted something for himself like a boat or a sea-doo or an ATV 4-wheeler, he would just stop helping out with the household bill including their rent and go buy what he wanted and Kate was left to pick up all the arrears with everything that Phil neglected to help pay. This left Kate with $20,000.00 in credit card debt and the rent and bills though she had caught them up to speed several times, always ended up in arrears because when she allowed herself to rely on him for help, he always let her down.
Now being totally sober for years and gaining back his driver’s license he wanted a car of his own. So instead of paying the rent he took the rent money ad bought an old beat-up car. Problem was once Kate managed to get the rent paid up by taking cash advances off her credit cards Phil did not keep his promise to maintain the other bills. Instead, he was always buying things for his car, things for his boat, things for his cottage, things for his sea-doo. Then the boat he had wasn’t big enough so he had to buy a bigger boat. Each time putting them further and further in debt. Leaving Kate to pay for everything to keep them afloat so they wouldn’t end up homeless.
Finally Kate couldn’t take it any more and she asked Phil to move out. Gave him back her wedding ring and said it was over. He refused to leave. Instead he started working even later at night, sometimes not coming home until after midnight when Kate was already asleep. He even started working on weekends through the colder months and staying at the cottage alone in the summer months. They had completely grown apart with nothing in common any longer. Kate was miserable and felt so alone, yet Phil still would not leave.
Kate tried many times to talk her feelings out with Phil but he just wouldn’t hear anything she had to say. All he ever did was say there is more to a relationship that affection and sex and just get up, go to work, come home make his dinner and hide in the bedroom on his computer until bedtime every night. Any time Kate tried to talk to him all he would do was bitch about money, bills and the state of the house but never once did he accept the responsibility for putting them in those dire situations. It was always someone else’s fault.
Before Kate met Phil she was obsessive with cleaning. she used bleach on everything. Her friends would come over and state things were so clean and organized you could eat off her floors. Now, all these years later, between Phil bringing home junk for projects he always started and never completed and two lazy teenagers, Kate’s house was a wreck. Broken TVs, computers and old furniture littered her entire basement alongside piles of wood and home-made cement blocks, a home-made dog house, an old giant executive desk that the kids had written all over, a couch that the cats decided to use as a pee-spot, broken up water-bed and old mattresses from twenty years back, the basement was a junk yard and forget about the garage, he managed to destroy that as well.
Kate had accidentally destroyed the main living area carpet by spilling a full can of wood stain while upgrading some of their furniture to give it a fresh look and though Phil tried to help by putting hardwood flooring down he took a cheap short cut and lay the hardwood flooring right on top of the under padding for the old carpet and the floor is completely destroyed now and needs to be fully replaced which they can not afford to do.
These days Kate is so thoroughly embarrassed she won’t let anyone in her home. She rarely opens the curtains and sits in darkness. Her kids rooms are starting to resemble an episode of hoarders and she won’t let them have any friends over. She is at them almost daily to take pride in themselves and keep things as clean as possible. No one listens to her any more. Enter the nagging house wife syndrome…….
Kate raised her kids to be clean and tidy, gave them proper morals and values and tried to teach them how to manage money. But they are just plain lazy when it comes to their rooms.
Things have gotten so bad for Kate that she rarely ever gets out of bed. She only ever leaves her house to pick up a kid when they need it or to get what little food they can afford. Her and Phil rarely talk to each other any more. They haven’t been intimate in three years. They never cuddle. They sleep in the same bed only because their isn’t a spare room for her to move into. Phil refuses to move out and Kate can’t afford to. She’s been stuck in the same rental home for 20 years, in the projects. She is of the poor working class but now unemployed. Though she tries to stay up beat and positive when she talks to her friends because they have no idea what-so-ever what she’s been dealing with all these years.
Kate wonders how many women out there stay in unhappy situations out of financial strain and the fear of being alone. Although at this point she would welcome the being alone part so she wouldn’t have to endure listening to Phil’s constant bitching and complaining every single day when he gets home from work.
Yesterday she cracked a rib and ended up with neck and back strain moving some of that furniture over the past weekend and Phil made her carry ten loads of heavy laundry up three flights of stairs while he sat on his laptop laying poker for four hours. He had the nerve to say, after she did all that and put it away and watched her collapse on the floor, oh are you okay, why didn’t you ask for help then proceeded to get one more load and drop it at her feet. All that did was remind her of the day her ex came home and did the same thing only he added a book about breast augmentation, tummy tucks and liposuction to the top of the load as well as a book of wigs so she could change her appearance to suite his fantasies. Kate learned not to long later that her ex was having an affair with that girl from work. The decline is imminent isn’t it….
Kate is still contemplating what to do with her life and honestly right this minute I want to tell her to run for her life!
Until next time…….
This has been a fictional tale of a housewife.