Quintessential Truth #25 – Hark or Deduce
New Order – Blue Monday >> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Bul0dJVfFQ
I’ve always fancied myself to be a good listener but it doesn’t always mean that what I’m listening to is easy to hear. At times we all have heard some simple truths we’ve not looked forward to hearing.
We like to live in a short stay of denial here and there. having someone point out the obvious can feel like a gut-punch sometimes especially when said denials are held up in neon signs when we are comfy sitting in our dark little cubby-holes in the cover of our solitary confines.
Oh, we’ll continue to try to deny things or fluff up our rooster-chests and try to brush it off. Mostly because we won’t always admit to our down times, our feeling lost times or our oops, I did it again times. It’s hard to admit to some things, especially to our friends, those closest to us and ourselves. I still haven’t sussed out why. Sometimes it’s because of guilt, embarrassment or denial and other times its’ because we don’t want to be judged by another or because talking about said times makes it a little bit to real.
From early ages we become good at creating alternate realities to help take us away from stressful situations and as we grow older we become great at dodging the cold hard facts of our own situation of dread by curtailing them into matter-of-fact quick skate-byes and do-overs.
There are some who can talk through the entirety of their situations and there are others who play dodge ball with what is transpiring. By playing dodge ball I mean when we point out the “I know you to well to buy the act you’re putting on right now” to be something else, our friends/family jump up and say “Nah-ah, you’re wrong, I’m fine, really” move on us. We see right through it and we call bullshit.
First: They came to you with a problem and you said how can I help, what do you need from me?
Second: The script flipped and in a micro-second they’re all “No, I’m fine, really” They try to explain that they just had a momentary lapse of self-control you mistook for weakness and suddenly their fetal-position was temporary. But the cry already became unleashed and now more than just you became aware.
The main point is at least they reached this time. Times before saw them suffer alone and it only took longer to come back from it. You see, they were looking for confirmation they were missed and that they mattered to more than just one person. To some, numbers matter a little too much. It’s a compulsion they can’t seem to part from. Point that out and eventually they will admit it, some-what gracefully, with a little giggle. Especially if you tug on their hair tight enough. They will yell okay, you win, I admit it. They feed from continuous praise and hand shakes. they need the pat on the back to keep them going and for them that’s okay and we oblige continuously to keep the beast from chewing them up and digesting them altogether for this is what we do.
I had a friend say to me once that they found it strange how being on social media can make one feel more alienated and that one sometimes has to find a way to get perspective back. Some of us have come to learn ow to grab the lifeline and not slacken that grip. This helps us gain back our smile, you know the one that we left on the left side of anguish. We do this and we wind up finding our balance again.
Instead of feeling the despondent vibe, we collectively feel wanted and appreciated. We get back on track so to speak. At least until the next road block, we can find a way to travel and avoid all potholes so not to ruin the drive-shaft in our travels. It takes a village to move the footpath up the right side of the mountain and when one realizes they don’t have to weather the storm on their own, that it’s okay to break sometimes, they also realize that it’s okay to let the wound bleed a little first before applying the antiseptic and bandage to enhance the healing.
Being about one thing is fine for some but being about many things is a better way to give adventure and self-discovery not only for you but for many others. Curling up into your own little cocoon is fine for a moment. At least until the dust-storm settles. but when the rain comes be ready to break out of it and dance through that storm. It’s only temporary and it will pass. The winds of change swirl around us constantly and we’d better ourselves to learn how to manuever through them than to lay down in the ditch and pray for it to stop.
There will be those who feed of the misery of another. I call these festering nats the rowdy scavengers of misery as they will feed like a tick on that pain and grab the salt to rub into the wounds, then sit in the corner snickering at the downtrodden’s screams of agony. Whispering in their little scavenger troop about watching another one fall by the way-side and spit their venom to any and all willing participants. These rowdy scavengers are dirt on your shoulder, brush them off with one quick sweep. Their cotton-mouths grow foul and fester a poisonous gas that eventually dissipates as others run away from it. There’ll be no tailgate parties for this lot.
The bent ears brigade, now these folk, they are good folk. You can bend their ears six ways from Sunday and they will always stay constants in your life. They are seasoned with life events and have become one with change. They won’t hold anything back either. They will tell it like it is. There’s no sugar-coating things with this lot. They air out their surroundings often and don’t try to hide things with 400 air fresheners from the local gas station. They’ve seen more of their share of fast-balls thrown in their general direction and they’ve travelled twelve thousand miles into the middle of nowhere to meet the colour of their own entrails only to wash them in mother nature’s natural springs and reincert them back into their original body cavity comfortably. They will sit on the edge of sanity with you and play roshambull until the next sunrise just to make sure you get it all out of your system. This is dedication in it’s best form. These are the folks you tuck into your pocket for your travels. They remind you that you matter. They are your daily dose of reality and your true support system.
So when you have on our goloshes and you are knee-deep at the river’s edge, cast your rod and see what nature puts on your hook, reel it in and you decide whether it’s a keeper or if it needs the catch and release method applied to it. Remember on this farm of life, you are the farmer, plant your seeds and watch them grow and please, check on the barn often because the cows aren’t going to milk themselves, now, are they?
Take pride in who you are. The fault in our stars is only visible to one who holds the magic telescope to our inner soul and with that magic comes a galaxy beyond anything we ever would’ve imagined.
This has been your 25th Quintessential Truth.
Until next time…….
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