Outside the Lines – Quintessential Truth #20
***WARNING…..If you are easily offended by truth and reality, don’t read this section.
These are my personal opinions and I don’t expect everyone to agree with me, nor am I looking for confrontation.
I simply have an outlet for such topics and reserve the right to put them here.***
I’ve always wanted to stay outside the lines when it comes to writing. After all, if we strive to be like everyone else how can we stick out like a sore thumb.
The truth is, we don’t want to. We write for ourselves before anyone else. I’m never worried about numbers or how many likes and shares I get, some others may disagree with me and that’s okay. It really matters not to me and it’s why I stay away from any form of writing competitions. I’m happy writing on my blog. But I will suggest and share them with my friends because I believe they are far more talented than I and I also believe they deserve every avenue possible to share their work with the public. Writing has been therapy for me since the painful age of eight, one year after a major life altering disaster struck followed by one turmoil after another. I had left it alone near twenty years when I was encouraged to try it again; I remember that one short sentence “write something for me” and I’m happy to say it has brought me out of many a dark place. It didn’t cost me thousands in therapy bills nor did it put me in debt to anyone for doing so. It simply boils down to being remembered not noticed. It could be you remembered I pissed you off with what I wrote one night but it was because I made you stop and think about something. Guess I would consider that a job well done. Don’t worry I didn’t pat myself on the back, actually I thought, wow I’m really onto something here. Who knew…
Most of the time I write straight off the cuff. I’ve never been one to sit and plot something out, my attention span is that of a Natt and what you see is what you get. An idea pops inside my head and the will to get it out just takes over. Before I know it I have completed it and published it. There is a mode I go into and no one can interrupt me when this happens. I can say I have touched many with the pieces I have written and shared and it happens unintentionally. There is a whole world of like-minded folk out there who have lived, felt or understand what I say and it keeps me going. Sometimes I’m like a ticking time bomb inside and the only way I know to get out of it is to write it out of me. The odd time it provokes someone but it is just circumstantial that it happens. I have many online friends that write and through their writing I find inspiration and it often triggers something inside me to start typing. There are a couple of people who rouse somewhat of a synchronicity out of me when they post. I truly love this feeling. Their will feeds my soul and they don’t even realize it most of the time.
I am a reclusive person by nature. I only go out when I have to and I don’t socialize much, mostly because I have no patience for drama and I can be very temperamental. Which is odd because I can watch a million drama style shows and movies but I don’t want it in real life. I prefer night over daylight, there is something about the darkness of night I find comforting. There is no busy or hectic commotion to set my head in a spin, the slightest thing can set me off. I have no idea why, my brain just operates on a different wave-length than most.
Unlike many and most writers, I don’t chose to follow the rules. Could be the rebel side of me I guess, who knows, but standing out apart from the rest is a good thing for me. People tend to remember that which is different. I often use the term when talking to people that I am all over the map. I’m just different and I like it that way, especially if it means you will remember me long after I’m gone. It means I managed to leave a mark. There are people I no longer associate with that still, for lack of better term, stalk me, to see what I’m doing. I find this more flattering than annoying because it means they miss something about me. What that something is I have no idea, but I clearly left a mark on their lives, something they cannot seem to let go of, and for the most part, it’s not that I did something horrible to them, it’s just that they were called on their own bullshit or I simply just walked away and left them thinking about why that would have happened. There is one group of girls who after a year and a half still stalk me. Why? who knows, honestly I don’t really care, they mean nothing to me. I’m not a rug or a welcome mat, you’re not going to try to walk all over me and wipe the shit off your boots on my back. Yet they worry about what I have to say. Guess I managed to leave my mark there too. It’s like people take everything so literally, you post something on your personal social media and there are some rather than just taking it for the entertainment value that it is, they take it personally or automatically think I’m living it or going through it or even thinking it. Fact is I saw it, found humor or truth in it and thought it good to share with others. It’s a simple concept, right. Those I no longer follow for my own personal reason still feel the need to secretly scroll through my feed and then go talk to someone about it. It’s funny, they actually think that by saying things to someone that it won’t get back to me in one form or another, I think this is absolutely hilarious. I just take it for what it is and find a way to write about it. Imminent poking is always lurking behind each provocation.
It’s true, I write from the position of “I” with the Quintessential Truths series, but it’s my prerogative and this is where I can stand outside the lines the most. We are always told in English class to try to stay away from writing from this perspective, so the rebel in me says Ha! fight the conformity!
“This is my fight song, my take back my life song” I love this lyric, it stands for so much, like me, I stand for so many things, things that most discuss in their living-rooms with friends, I will bring those things out into the light and make you pay attention to them, question them and think about them. This is how I do, poke and provoke. Make you see, keep you from being blinded. If I wanted to be like everyone else, I would do what everyone else does the way everyone else does it. I want to be different. I will take the ugliness of realities and beautify them in my own way. My written way.
There is another one to think on…
Until we meet again…….
FOOD FOR THOUGHT
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