Excuses, we all use them and equally, we all despise them at the same time. So what do you do when one of your closest friends lives in a world of excuses and how do you not become annoyed with them from time to time because you see the pattern when they don’t?
That is going to be the topic of today’s Quintessential Truth session.
The scenario plays out like this…….. Your friendship develops with someone over time and you discover what an extraordinary soul they are but you also see that they continually have a plethora of excuses for their irrational behaviors and the excuses come to them so easily. They flow off their tongue or from their fingertips with the ease of taking a breath. How do you not want to smack them upside the head and scream SNAP OUT OF IT!?
It is a fine line we walk on when faced with such things. We can sit there and ask why; why; why, but the fact is we will just be fed excuse after excuse over and over again. They’ve become so predispositioned to do this in their lives to cover up their pains and frustration that it is like second nature to them and for some of them they don’t even realize they do it so often. We can’t hook them up to a polygraph machine every time we have a conversation with them so when do we know they are being truthful and when do we realize they are just feeding us a line of bullshit so that we douse the fire of our annoyances with them. It can get quite sticky and very frustrating. If they possess a brilliant creative mind already these excuses flow quite rapidly and the delivery person is always looking for forgiveness and understanding. It takes a pretty patient person to put up with this on a regular basis but sometimes the patient person takes about all they can take and they break in the temper department.
You can not force a person to be open and honest with you when they haven’t accepted who they are yet. They will sugar coat everything with a love factor and/or a fantasy world they are used to living in. The whys are simple, if they face their realities they must also face their pain. Not physical pain, the inner pain that makes them question everything about themselves, self analyzing is never a fun thing to do but it is a necessary evil we must all face at one point or another. Harboring inner pain and masking it causes more long-term hurt to one’s self and those around you more than you will ever realize. It is okay to break sometimes, we are only human after all. We possess emotions and with those emotions come occasional losses of inner balance. The human race has managed to find many ways to hide behind inner pain. Some turn to drugs and/or alcohol to numb the pain or forget. In the long run these methods cause even more problems and more pain. If we face our issues head on and do a self analyzation we could save on shrink bills in large ways.
Cry wolf one to many times and who will believe you in the end?
Here in lies our own personal ability to forgive. That is the line we draw for ourselves. It is because the question arises; if I forgive does that make me a fool? Well let’s look at forgiveness for a second: the action or process of forgiving or being forgiven. Forgiveness is incredibly powerful, that is a known fact, but what does it mean to forgive?
Forgiveness can release another from guilt or the feeling of guilt and in turn releases a bit of inner pain. Put as simply as possible, forgiveness is releasing the other from the penalty of our anger towards them so the relationship/friendship can be restored. It is the emotional standing of the four basic elements of
1. A decision to release inner turmoil,
2. A decision to sacrifice something within ourselves,
3. A decision to allow us to trust, and
4. A decision to grow within ourselves.
There are always lessons to be learned in life and as a continual life student I possess the ability to share my insight with you. So the next time to face an excuse monster, stop, think and breathe, take a few minutes to decide what it is that will move you forward or hold you back and chose wisely from a grown up perspective.
You only live once….
For those who are the excuse creators, you decide whether you want to stay stuck in your world of excuses or if you want to move forward and be the best you that you can be. Don’t lose the trust and love from those closest to you because one is such a lonely number.
And don’t become this….
I thank you for stopping by and going through another Quintessential Truth with me.
Until we meet again.
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